r do so no more. I'm cryin' all the day, as
though I got my livin' wi' skinnin' onions. Relieve me, my dear, or my
feelin's will be too much for me. They be fillin' me faster 'n I can
dispose of 'em; and if you don't leave that 'ere coachman and smile on
me, I shall either go up like a baloon, or else there'll be a case of
combustion.' I went on in that 'ere style, yer know, thinkin' she'd melt
like a h'yster in a fryin'-pan, but she didn't; and the next thing I
hears wus that the coachman wur at the willage alehouse readin' my
letter. Since then I've guv up the tender passion and guv up writin'
letters."

"Well, you have had bad luck, Simon; but perhaps you'll be more
fortunate next time. Mr. Temple tells me you have something to tell me
about the ghost. What is it?"

"You ain't a-seen that 'ere hinfidel willain since he went away from
'ere, Mr. Blake, have 'ee?"

"I saw him in Hyde Park one day, but have never spoken to him."

"Well, I'm in a fog."

"In a fog! How?"

"Why, I can't understand a bit why that 'ere ghost wur a got up."

"You think it was got up, then?"

"Certain of it, yer honour."

"Well, tell us about it."

"Well, sur, after you left all of a hurry like, we had a big party in
the house, and all the servants 'ad to 'elp; and no sooner did I git in
that 'ere house than I beginned to put two and two together, and then I
see a hindiwidual that I beginned to think wur mighty like that 'ere
ghost."

"And who was that?"

"Why, that 'ere hancient wirgin, Miss Staggles."

"Ah, what then?"

"Well, I heard somebody tellin' her as 'ow you were gone to London, and
I thought she looked mighty pleased. After dinner, I see her come out of
the drawin'-room, and go away by herself, and I thought I'd watch. She
went up to her room, yer honour, and I got in a convenient place for
watchin' her when she comes out. She weren't a minnit afore she wur out,
Mr. Blake, a-carryin' somethin' in her hands. She looks curiously
'round, and then I see her make straight for your bedroom door, and goes
into your room. In a minnit more she comes out, with nothin' in her
hands. So then I says to myself, 'She's deposited some o' her
combustible matter in Mr. Blake's room.'

"It was a bold and dangerous thing to do, yer honour, but I goes into
your room and looks around. Everything seems right. Then I looks and
sees that the drawer of the wardrobe ain't quite shut, so I takes a step
forward and peeps in."

"And what di