I own, that I think that great rigour has been exercised towards
me! And yet I am now authorized to call it rigour by the judgment of two
excellent sisters, my mother and my aunt, who acknowledge (as you tell me
from my aunt) that they have been obliged to join against me, contrary to
their inclinations; and that even in a point which might seem to concern
my eternal welfare.

But I must not go on at this rate. For may not the inclination my mother
has given up be the effect of a too-fond indulgence, rather than that I
merit the indulgence? And yet so petulantly perverse am I, that I must
tear myself from the subject.

All then that I will say further to it, at this time, is, that were the
intended goodness to be granted to me but a week hence, it would possibly
be too late--too late I mean to be of the consolation to me that I would
wish from it: for what an inefficacious preparation must I have been
making, if it has not, by this time, carried me above--But above what?--
Poor mistaken creature! Unhappy self-deluder! that finds herself above
nothing! Nor able to subdue her own faulty impatience!

But in-deed, to have done with a subject that I dare not trust myself
with, if it come in your way, let my aunt Hervey, let my dear cousin
Dolly, let the worthy Mrs. Williams, know how exceedingly grateful to me
their kind intentions and concern for me are: and, as the best warrant
or justification of their good opinions, (since I know that their favour
for me is founded on the belief that I loved virtue,) tell them, that I
continued to love virtue to my last hour, as I presume to hope it may be
said; and assure them that I never made the least wilful deviation,
however unhappy I became for one faulty step; which nevertheless was not
owing to unworthy or perverse motives.

I am very sorry that my cousin Morden has taken a resolution to see Mr.
Lovelace.

My apprehensions on this intelligence are a great abatement to the
pleasure I have in knowing that he still loves me.

My sister's letter to me is a most affecting one--so needlessly, so
ludicrously taunting!--But for that part of it that is so, I ought rather
to pity her, than to be so much concerned at it as I am.

I wonder what I have done to Mr. Brand--I pray God to forgive both him
and his informants, whoever they be. But if the scandal arise solely
from Mr. Belford's visits, a very little time will confute it. Mean
while, the packet I shall send you, which