nk up some words to swear with."

"Due 8 means, grab 8 more."

"Continue."

"The blue-pencil 3 was an afterthought. There aren't any stamps for
afterthoughts; the sums vary, according to inspiration, and they whirl
in the one that suggests itself at the last moment. Sometimes they go
several times higher than this one. This one only means hog 3 cents
more. And so if you've got 51 cents about you, or can borrow it--"

"Tell me: who gets this corruption?"

"Half of it goes to the man in England who ships the letter on short
postage, and the other half goes to the P.O.D. to protect cheap postage
from inaugurating a deficit."

"-------------------"

"I can't blame you; I would say it myself in your place, if these ladies
were not present. But you see I'm only obeying orders, I can't help
myself."

"Oh, I know it; I'm not blaming you. Finally, what does that L stand
for?"

"Get the money, or give him L. It's English, you know."

"Take it and go. It's the last cent I've got in the world--."

After seeing the Oxford pageant file by the grand stand, picture after
picture, splendor after splendor, three thousand five hundred
strong, the most moving and beautiful and impressive and
historically-instructive show conceivable, you are not to think I would
miss the London pageant of next year, with its shining host of 15,000
historical English men and women dug from the misty books of all the
vanished ages and marching in the light of the sun--all alive, and
looking just as they were used to look! Mr. Lascelles spent yesterday
here on the farm, and told me all about it. I shall be in the middle
of my 75th year then, and interested in pageants for personal and
prospective reasons.

I beg you to give my best thanks to the Bath Club for the offer of its
hospitalities, but I shall not be able to take advantage of it, because
I am to be a guest in a private house during my stay in London.

Sincerely yours,
S. L. CLEMENS.

It was in 1907 that Clemens had seen the Oxford Pageant--during the
week when he had been awarded his doctor's degree. It gave him the
greatest delight, and he fully expected to see the next one, planned
for 1910.

In the letter to Howells which follows we get another glimpse of
Mark Twain's philosophy of man, the irresponsible machine.

*****

To W. D. Howells, in New York: