ll
see you again at the casino, and in a better temper, I hope. Adieu."

It did not require much argument to conquer me. When I had finished the
letter, I was at once the admirer of C---- C---- and the ardent lover of
M---- M----. But, alas! although the fever had left me, I was crippled.
Certain that Laura would come again early the next morning, I could not
refrain from writing to both of them a short letter, it is true, but long
enough to assure them that reason had again taken possession of my poor
brain. I wrote to C---- C---- that she had done right in telling her friend
my name, the more so that, as I did not attend their church any longer, I
had no reason to make a mystery of it. In everything else I freely
acknowledged myself in the wrong, and I promised her that I would atone
by giving M---M---- the strongest possible proofs of my repentance as soon
as I could go again to her casino.

This is the letter that I wrote to my adorable nun:

"I gave C---- C---- the key of your casino, to be returned to you, my own
charming friend, because I believed myself trifled with and despised, of
malice aforethought, by the woman I worship. In my error I thought myself
unworthy of presenting myself before your eyes, and, in spite of love,
horror made me shudder. Such was the effect produced upon me by an act
which would have appeared to me admirable, if my self-love had not
blinded me and upset my reason. But, dearest, to admire it it would have
been necessary for my mind to be as noble as yours, and I have proved how
far it is from being so. I am inferior to you in all things, except in
passionate love, and I will prove it to you at our next meeting, when I
will beg on my knees a generous pardon. Believe me, beloved creature, if
I wish ardently to recover my health, it is only to have it in my power
to prove by my love a thousand times increased, how ashamed I am of my
errors. My painful lumbago has alone prevented me from answering your
short note yesterday, to express to you my regrets, and the love which
has been enhanced in me by your generosity, alas! so badly rewarded. I
can assure you that in the lagunes, with death staring me in the face, I
regretted no one but you, nothing but having outraged you. But in the
fearful danger then threatening me I only saw a punishment from Heaven.
If I had not cruelly sent back to you the key of the casino, I should
most likely have returned there, and should have avoided the sorrow