wouldn't.

But though the incendiary suggestion of altering the pitch was received
with applause at the moment, subsequent study of the situation proved
that such a proceeding was entirely beyond the modest means of the
society. Then there arose an ingenious and militant carpenter in a
neighbouring village, who asserted that he would shingle the
meeting-house roof for such and such a sum, and agree to drink every drop
of water that would leak in afterward. This was felt by all parties to
be a promise attended by extraordinary risks, but it was accepted
nevertheless, Miss Lobelia Brewster remarking that the rash carpenter,
being already married, could not marry a Dorcas anyway, and even if he
died, he was not a resident of Edgewood, and therefore could be more
easily spared, and that it would be rather exciting, just for a change,
to see a man drink himself to death with rain-water. The expected
tragedy never occurred, however, and the inspired shingler fulfilled his
promise to the letter, so that before many months the Dorcas Society
proceeded, with incredible exertion, to earn more money, and the interior
of the church was neatly painted and made as fresh as a rose. With no
smoke, no rain, no snow nor melting ice to defile it, the good old
landmark that had been pointing its finger Heavenward for over a century
would now be clean and fragrant for years to come, and the weary sisters
leaned back in their respective rocking-chairs and drew deep breaths of
satisfaction.

These breaths continued to be drawn throughout an unusually arduous
haying season; until, in fact, a visitor from a neighbouring city was
heard to remark that the Tory Hill Meeting-House would be one of the best
preserved and pleasantest churches in the whole State of Maine, if only
it were suitably carpeted.

This thought had secretly occurred to many a Dorcas in her hours of pie-
making, preserving, or cradle-rocking, but had been promptly extinguished
as flagrantly extravagant and altogether impossible. Now that it had
been openly mentioned, the contagion of the idea spread, and in a month
every sort of honest machinery for the increase of funds had been set in
motion: harvest suppers, pie sociables, old folk's concerts, apron sales,
and, as a last resort, a subscription paper, for the church floor
measured hundreds of square yards, and the carpet committee announce that
a good ingrain could not be purchased, even with the church discount, for