y acceptance, I take it."

"Always."

"The Editor is so desirous of obtaining your work, I suppose he is
willing to pay a big price for it even before it is written."

"Yes, and before it is read."

"Indeed, so there must be a time when nobody knows what your articles
are about, including yourself, as you never read them." Counsel
continuing. "I presume you never contribute any articles during the
time of the year known as the Silly Season?"

"On the contrary, my first effort in that direction has resulted in the
bringing of the present action."

"You considered the Silly Season had started then, upon the night you
met the Lord Mayor?"

"The Silly Season started then, has continued since, and appears to be
at its height here this afternoon."

(Sweetly.) "Then you can congratulate yourself upon being thoroughly in
the fashion. Now tell me, Mr. Bore, in your opinion, should we take
the statues of London seriously?"

"No, in my opinion we should take them all down."

"All? Oh, surely not. Now, as an instance, let us go down the Strand."

_His Lordship_ (interrupting). "No, no, no, I believe the correct
quotation is, 'Let's all go down the Strand.'" (Loud laughter.)

_Counsel_. "I have never heard the quotation, my lord."

_His Lordship_ (pleasantly). "What! I should have thought that
everybody had heard that, the difficulty is not to hear it. I have
even heard it set to music." (Loud laughter.)

"Now, Mr. Bore," continued Counsel, when order had once more been
restored. "Has it never struck you that some of the statues of London
might, for example, sometimes come to life?"

"Never. I cannot imagine anything less like life, than any of the
statues of London."

"Surely the one in Court to-day is a good specimen?"

"If it is a specimen it ought to be in its proper place--in a case."

_Counsel_ (gently). "It is in a case."

"And I object to it being in this case."

"Sculpture is evidently not your strong point."

"Neither are ridiculous fairy tales!"

"You wish us to believe that you, a writer, are only capable of dealing
with facts."

"I have not encountered any facts in this case at all yet, and I
utterly fail to understand what anybody here can mean by facts after
this afternoon's exhibition."

_Judge_ (annoyed). "Tut, tut! Facts are facts: this is a Court of
Justice: I am the Judge; would you, for instance, regard me, _me_ as a
fact?"

_Mr. Learned Bore_. "No, as a figure-h