AMENT.

(EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY
OF TOBY, M.P.)

_House of Commons, Tuesday, April 14._--Back to grindstone after so-called
Easter recess. Divisions reveal presence of aggregate of something less
than 200 Members. Watchful Whip, ever suspicious of ambush, succeeded in
mustering four-fifths of the whole. Ministerial majority maintained at
average of six-score.

Increased by a unit consequent on return of PREMIER after re-election by
faithful Fife. Towards close of Questions was discovered standing at Bar
awaiting SPEAKER'S call.

"Members desiring to take their seats will please come to the Table."

As he advanced, escorted by CHIEF WHIP and Scottish colleague, Liberals and
Irish Nationalists leaped to their feet, waving hats and handkerchiefs in
loyal greeting. Only the haughty Labour Member remained seated. Not for him
to pay court to chiefs of other parties, howsoever friendly. He is there as
representative of the Working Man; is neither to be bought nor sold, cowed
nor cajoled.

A fine spectacle. Pity Strangers' Galleries almost empty.

In process of swearing-in new Member nothing taken for granted. HALSBURY
discovered this when, far back in the last century, he, known at the time
as HARDINGE GIFFARD, came up to take his seat for Launceston. Challenged by
the Clerk for production of writ of return, made painful discovery that it
was not at hand. Sure he put it in his pocket when he left home; but which
pocket?

In full gaze of four hundred quizzical Members he proceeded to search. Was
there ever mortal man with so many pockets stuffed with such miscellaneous
contents as DISRAELI'S Solicitor-General littered the Table withal? In the
end--and its coming seemed interminable--the desired document was found
coyly hidden in his hat left on the seat he had occupied under the Gallery
awaiting summons to the Table.

The PRIME MINISTER, cool and businesslike as usual, had necessary document
ready. Handing it to the Clerk, he once more signed the roll of Parliament.

Then came critical moment, awaited with keen interest by House. The roll
signed, it is duty of Clerk to conduct new Member to SPEAKER and introduce
him by name.

"Mr. ASQUITH!" the Clerk announced.

[Illustration: THE NEW MEMBER.

_Mr. SPEAKER._ "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Sir. Somehow I seem to
know your face."]

With half start of surprise SPEAKER regarded newcomer; thought he
recognised him as he stood at the Table. All doubt now remov