the same restless
discontent. As for her husband, the Hired Retainer, he took life as
tranquilly as ever, and seemed to regard the whole thing as the most
exhilarating farce he had ever been in. I think he looked on Ukridge as
an amiable lunatic, and was content to rough it a little in order to
enjoy the privilege of observing his movements. He made no complaints
of the food. When a man has supported life for a number of years on
incessant Army beef, the monotony of daily chicken and eggs scarcely
strikes him.

"The fact is," said Ukridge, "these tradesmen round here seem to be a
sordid, suspicious lot. They clamour for money."

He mentioned a few examples. Vickers, the butcher, had been the first
to strike, with the remark that he would like to see the colour of Mr.
Ukridge's money before supplying further joints. Dawlish, the grocer,
had expressed almost exactly similar sentiments two days later; and the
ranks of these passive resisters had been receiving fresh recruits ever
since. To a man the tradesmen of Combe Regis seemed as deficient in
Simple Faith as they were in Norman Blood.

"Can't you pay some of them a little on account?" I suggested. "It
would set them going again."

"My dear old man," said Ukridge impressively, "we need every penny of
ready money we can raise for the farm. The place simply eats money.
That infernal roop let us in for I don't know what."

That insidious epidemic had indeed proved costly. We had painted the
throats of the chickens with the best turpentine--at least Ukridge and
Beale had,--but in spite of their efforts, dozens had died, and we had
been obliged to sink much more money than was pleasant in restocking
the run. The battle which took place on the first day after the
election of the new members was a sight to remember. The results of it
were still noticeable in the depressed aspect of certain of the
recently enrolled.

"No," said Ukridge, summing up, "these men must wait. We can't help
their troubles. Why, good gracious, it isn't as if they'd been waiting
for the money long. We've not been down here much over a month. I never
heard of such a scandalous thing. 'Pon my word, I've a good mind to go
round, and have a straight talk with one or two of them. I come and
settle down here, and stimulate trade, and give them large orders, and
they worry me with bills when they know I'm up to my eyes in work,
looking after the fowls. One can't attend to everything. The business
is ju