the earth--to try to write
something that will get into the Literary Supplement. This supplement
is a new idea of the editor's, and makes a sort of weekly magazine. He
writes a lot of it himself, and we chip a lot of stuff for him out of
other papers. The idea of having a shot at it occurred to us both
independently, in a funny and rather humiliating way. It seems
Waterford, without saying a word to me or anybody, had sat down and
composed some lines on the `Swallow'--appropriate topic for this season
of the year. I at the same time, without saying a word to Waterford or
anybody except mother, had sat down and, with awful groanings and
wrestlings of mind, evolved a lucubration in prose on `Ancient and
Modern Athletic Sports.' Of course I crammed a lot of it up out of
encyclopaedias and that sort of thing. It was the driest rot you ever
read, and I knew it was doomed before I sent it in. But as it was
written I thought I might try. So, as of course I couldn't send it in
under my own name, I asked Miss Crisp if I might send it under hers.
The obliging little lady laughed and said, `Yes,' but she didn't tell me
at the same time that Waterford had come to her with his `Swallow' and
asked the very same thing. A rare laugh she must have had at our
expense! Well, I sent mine in and Waterford sent in his.

"We were both very abstracted for the next few days, but little guessed
our perturbation arose from the same cause. Then came the fatal
Wednesday--the `d.w.t.' day as we call it--for Granville always saves up
his rejected addresses for us to `decline with thanks' for Wednesdays.
There was a good batch of them this day, so Waterford and I took half
each. I took a hurried skim through mine, but no `Ancient and Modern
Athletic Sports' were there. I concluded therefore Waterford had it.
Granville writes in the corner of each `d.w.t.,' or `d.w.t. note,' which
means `declined with thanks' pure and simple, or `declined with thanks'
and a short polite note to be written at the same time stating that the
sub-editor, while recognising some merit in the contribution, regretted
it was not suitable for the Supplement. I polished off my pure and
simple first, and then began to tackle the notes. About the fourth I
came to considerably astonished me. It was a couple of mild sonnets on
the `Swallow,' with the name M.E. Crisp attached!

"`Hullo,' I said to Waterford, tossing the paper over to him, `here's
Miss Crisp writing