ke water which
tasted in equal parts of oil and dead rats; but, now that he was here he
was prepared to make the best of the situation. Swimming, it happened,
was one of the things he did best, and somewhere among his belongings at
home was a tarnished pewter cup which he had won at school in the
"Saving Life" competition. He knew exactly what to do. You get behind
the victim and grab him firmly under his arms, and then you start
swimming on your back. A moment later, the astonished Mr. Swenson who,
being practically amphibious, had not anticipated that anyone would
have the cool impertinence to try to save him from drowning, found
himself seized from behind and towed vigorously away from a ten-dollar
bill which he had almost succeeded in grasping. The spiritual agony
caused by this assault rendered him mercifully dumb; though, even had he
contrived to utter the rich Swedish oaths which occurred to him, his
remarks could scarcely have been heard, for the crowd on the dock was
cheering as one man. They had often paid good money to see far less
gripping sights in the movies. They roared applause. The liner,
meanwhile, continued to move stodgily out into mid-river.

The only drawback to these life-saving competitions at school,
considered from the standpoint of fitting the competitors for the
problems of afterlife, is that the object saved on such occasions is a
leather dummy, and of all things in this world a leather dummy is
perhaps the most placid and phlegmatic. It differs in many respects from
an emotional Swedish gentleman, six foot high and constructed throughout
of steel and india-rubber, who is being lugged away from cash which he
has been regarding in the light of a legacy. Indeed, it would be hard to
find a respect in which it does not differ. So far from lying inert in
Sam's arms and allowing himself to be saved in a quiet and orderly
manner, Mr. Swenson betrayed all the symptoms of one who feels that he
has fallen among murderers. Mr. Swenson, much as he disliked
competition, was ready to put up with it, provided that it was fair
competition. This pulling your rival away from the loot so that you
could grab it yourself--thus shockingly had the man misinterpreted Sam's
motives--was another thing altogether, and his stout soul would have
none of it. He began immediately to struggle with all the violence at
his disposal. His large, hairy hands came out of the water and swung
hopefully in the direction where he as