I've been looking for Maggie's aunt. She
lives somewhere down here. Maggie is our cook and she is under the
weather--yes, very much under the weather--and I agreed to notify her
aunt, but hang me if I can find her aunt. I don't know her aunt's name;
I forgot to ask her what her dear aunt's name is, and all I know is that
she lives down this way somewhere, and she is Maggie's aunt. If you lads
will take me to her I will give you a penny apiece--I will, yes--I am in
earnest--hee, hee, hee!"

The laugh was something to hear, and the lads, all in chorus, imitated
the simpleton's laugh with a "hee, hee, hee!" which sounded very
ridiculous, and the dude said:

"Oh, you rude boys, I really believe you are mocking me--yes, I do. Now
don't be naughty, but come and show me where Maggie's aunt lives--hee,
hee, hee!"

Again the lads in chorus "hee, hee, hee-d."

"Boys, what have we struck?" came the question.

"Now don't be rude, boys, don't be rude, or I will chastise you--yes, I
will chastise you. I don't want to do so, but you may compel me to
chastise you."

The boys just roared at this threat, and one of them stealing behind
the dude gave him a "thumper" with his toe where the exquisite's pants
were drawn the tightest under his long coat.

"Oh, oh, you wicked boy! What do you mean? Stop, I say, stop, or I'll
call the police, yes, I will."

"Say, Dudie, there are no police around here; we slaughtered and burned
'em all last month; you'll find their graves down under the rocks there,
so don't holler."

As the spokesman uttered the words quoted he let drive and knocked off
the dude's hat, which one of the gang immediately appropriated, and then
the onslaught commenced. They just tore at the poor dude as a wolf tears
at a carcass, and in less time than it takes to tell it they had
stripped the poor fellow. One had put on the long coat and commenced to
walk English style, another donned the robbed man's hat, a second
secured the eyeglass, a third his undercoat, a fourth his nobby vest,
and so they stripped him of all his outside apparel, assumed it
themselves, and then the circus commenced. They just paraded around
their poor victim, imitating in a grotesque manner all the airs of a
genuine dudie sweet. Two or three rough-looking men were standing at the
door of a low groggery opposite and they enjoyed the fun and laughed as
merrily as the boys who were conducting the affair. "What have we
struck?" the lads kept repeati