ing pale and haggard, scarcely tasted
his breakfast, and hurried away to the office; and when he returned in
the evening either pooh-poohed his mother's anxious inquiries about his
health, or answered her curtly and snappishly.

Everything was going wrong, Ruth said to herself continually.

She had done very wrong, had taken a false step, and she felt truly
enough that no power on earth could alter that fact. And having once
started on a downward path it seemed of no use to try to stop and to do
better in future: she must give up all her struggles to do right, and go
down, down. It requires a very hardened sinner to forget the past, and
begin again as if nothing had happened; or a very humble Christian to
start again, after repeated failures, in dependence upon God. Ruth's
self-sufficiency was gone, and she sadly admitted to herself that she
was no better than Julia and the other girls. She had given up reading
her Bible now, thinking its sweet messages were not for her, a wayward,
erring one, and would scarcely dare to pray even for the safety and
well-being of the dear ones at home. Too broken-spirited to make
resolutions which she felt herself to be too weak to carry out, afraid
to open her Bible and read therein her own condemnation, and feeling
that her sin had raised a barrier, which she was unable to remove,
between herself and God, the New Year began in sorrow and sadness. "Your
sins have separated between you and your God." These words were
continually in her mind, and the remembrance of the peace and joy which
she had once felt in thinking of the things belonging to the kingdom
only made her more miserable.

CHAPTER XVIII.

SO AS BY FIRE.

"Hark! what was that?" exclaimed Ruth one night, starting up in bed.

She had been half-dozing, half-dreaming, when she was startled by a
slight noise downstairs, as if something had fallen.

"I believe it is Gerald. I will go down at once, and tell him that as he
has not kept his word I am no longer bound by my promise."

She sprang out of bed, slipped on her dressing-gown and shoes, and
hurried downstairs, anxious to meet her cousin before he went up to his
room, and to get rid of the embargo which rested so heavily upon her.

Down the stairs and into the hall she went without meeting him. The
front-door was fastened and bolted securely. Had she been mistaken, or
had he already gone to his room?

One moment she stood in perplexity and doubt. Then hearing