grass and sod. I say
little brighteyes, do you think it possible fer a guy to get hay fever
from a grass widow? Ennyhow Skinny got some kind uv fever when he was
chummin round with these female comfort kits, and if they don't lose
his trail, I can see visions of a certain (what the dickens is that
French word for fat--oh yes, embumpoint), lady in Hoboken, N.J.U.S.A.,
lookin fer a new affinity. In other words, unless the signs is
misleading, Skinny is gonna lose his liberty by gettin married, and
its the opinion of your "'Lil Brighteyes" that the speech of P. Henry
of Va. on "Give me Liberty or give me deth" was made, more because he
was married than because he was patriotic; and all the married men,
I'm told Julie, are chirpin the same wheeze. Of course with you derie,
its different. I don't believe you would accuse a feller of keepin
another woman when his pay envelope is a nickle shy on Sat. night.

Skinny and me had a date with the Pudding Sisters at the canteen last
nite, and believe you me, they was some babies, and was well worth the
money we spent on 'em.

Some people we met today from Belgium say that when the Fritzies get
soused, they hug and kiss every woman they meet. What a fat chance for
that sweet maiden of fifty years who grabbed me off at the station,
the day I left for camp. You can bet your Wrigleys that after a
regiment passed her she would make a detour and catch up with the head
of it again.

Yours until Eyetalian restaurants serve real wine.

BARNEY.

P.S. After readin this letter over I tho't I'd better wise you up on
that date me and Skinny had with the pudding sisters at the canteen
last nite. Women are so suspicious you know. I ment we went down to
the canteen to get some puddin, rice and tapioca.

"B."

[Illustration: She would run and ketch up with the hed of the
perseshun]

Dere Julie:

Your last lovin letter was rec'd by your little bright eyes in a
quaint old burg in viva la France, just back of where the Yanks are
making soup strainers of William the Twicer's boobs by punchin them
in the kitchen with that "wooden sword of America." You know Julie,
that story that the Emp has been jabbing them in the arm with about
"America couldn't fite if she would, and wouldn't if she could,"
and tellin em also about Germany's "submarines sinking all the Yanks
transports etcery etcery." If Bill keeps this up very long they will
nickname him Barnum.

Speaking of William the Twospot,