mpt to reduce circulation that we are not
surprised to find a provincial paper advertising in _The Daily Telegraph_
for "A Reader."

***

"There is no monument more enduring than brass," writes Mr. GEORGE BERNARD
SHAW, War Correspondent. The general feeling, however, is that there is a
kind of brass that is beyond enduring.

***

The idea of blaming _Queen Elizabeth_ for the Dardanelles fiasco is so
entirely satisfactory to all parties concerned that it is being freely
asked why the Commission couldn't have thought of that itself.

***

The new order prohibiting newspapers from printing contents bills is
bearing hardly in certain quarters, and it is rumoured that at least one
sensational contemporary has offered to forgo publishing itself in return
for the privilege of selling its posters.

***

By order of the General Officer Commanding the London District the Grafton
Galleries have been placed out of bounds. Or, as they say in the best
War-time dancing circles, out of leaps and bounds.

***

[Illustration: PROGRESS.]

***

Kensington Council states that 300,000 tons of food are consumed annually
by thousands of dogs which serve no useful purpose. The dogs, on the other
hand, are asking what would become of the nation's womanhood if there were
no dogs to take it out for exercise in the afternoon.

***

The Government, it appears, is determined to keep Charing Cross Railway
Station on the North side of the river. All the objections to the present
site, they point out, are easily outweighed by its proximity to the
National Gallery.

***

At Highgate, says a news item, a man named YELLS was fined for having in
his possession pork which was not sound. It was suggested that defendant
had held back the squeal for his own purposes.

***

An applicant recently informed the House of Commons' Tribunal that cutting
sandwiches was highly skilled work, which could not be done satisfactorily
by women. The difficulty appears to consist not in the actual cutting, but
in conveying the hammy taste from the knife to the bread without actually
parting with the ham itself.

***

Skipping is recommended as a healthy recreation. Several Germans on the
Ancre say they already owe their lives to this practice.

***

It is now proposed that Telephone Directories should be charged for. The
idea appears to be to bring them into line with ot