OUNT HOGGINARMO

Her Majesty, having indeed nothing else to give, made all her followers
Knights of the Pumpkin, and Marquises, Earls, and Baronets; and they had
a little court for her, and made her a little crown of gilt paper, and a
robe of cotton velvet; and they quarrelled about the places to be given
away in her court, and about rank and precedence and dignities;--you
can't think how they quarrelled! The poor Queen was very tired of her
honours before she had had them a month, and I dare say sighed sometimes
even to be a lady's-maid again. But we must all do our duty in our
respective stations, so the Queen resigned herself to perform hers.

We have said how it happened that none of the Usurper's troops came out
to oppose this Army of Fidelity: it pottered along as nimbly as the
gout of the principal commanders allowed: it consisted of twice as many
officers as soldiers: and at length passed near the estates of one of
the most powerful noblemen of the country, who had not declared for the
Queen, but of whom her party had hopes, as he was always quarrelling
with King Padella.

When they came close to his park gates, this nobleman sent to say he
would wait upon Her Majesty: he was a most powerful warrior, and his
name was Count Hogginarmo, whose helmet it took two strong negroes to
carry. He knelt down before her and said, 'Madam and liege lady! it
becomes the great nobles of the Crimean realm to show every outward sign
of respect to the wearer of the Crown, whoever that may be. We testify
to our own nobility in acknowledging yours. The bold Hogginarmo bends
the knee to the first of the aristocracy of his country.'

Rosalba said, 'The bold Count of Hogginarmo was uncommonly kind.' But
she felt afraid of him, even while he was kneeling, and his eyes scowled
at her from between his whiskers, which grew up to them.

'The first Count of the Empire, madam,' he went on, 'salutes the
Sovereign. The Prince addresses himself to the not more noble lady!
Madam, my hand is free, and I offer it, and my heart and my sword to
your service! My three wives lie buried in my ancestral vaults. The
third perished but a year since; and this heart pines for a consort!
Deign to be mine, and I swear to bring to your bridal table the head of
King Padella, the eyes and nose of his son Prince Bulbo, the right hand
and ears of the usurping Sovereign of Paflagonia, which country shall
thenceforth be an appanage to your--to OUR Crown! Say yes;