y toises from the returning angle of the trench, opposite
to the salient angle of the demi-bastion of St. Roch:--so that he was
pretty confident he could stick a pin upon the identical spot of ground
where he was standing on when the stone struck him.

All this succeeded to his wishes, and not only freed him from a world
of sad explanations, but, in the end, it proved the happy means, as you
will read, of procuring my uncle Toby his Hobby-Horse.

Chapter 1.XXVII.

There is nothing so foolish, when you are at the expence of making an
entertainment of this kind, as to order things so badly, as to let your
criticks and gentry of refined taste run it down: Nor is there any thing
so likely to make them do it, as that of leaving them out of the party,
or, what is full as offensive, of bestowing your attention upon the rest
of your guests in so particular a way, as if there was no such thing as
a critick (by occupation) at table.

--I guard against both; for, in the first place, I have left half a
dozen places purposely open for them;--and in the next place, I pay them
all court.--Gentlemen, I kiss your hands, I protest no company could
give me half the pleasure,--by my soul I am glad to see you--I beg
only you will make no strangers of yourselves, but sit down without any
ceremony, and fall on heartily.

I said I had left six places, and I was upon the point of carrying my
complaisance so far, as to have left a seventh open for them,--and in
this very spot I stand on; but being told by a Critick (tho' not by
occupation,--but by nature) that I had acquitted myself well enough,
I shall fill it up directly, hoping, in the mean time, that I shall be
able to make a great deal of more room next year.

--How, in the name of wonder! could your uncle Toby, who, it seems, was
a military man, and whom you have represented as no fool,--be at the
same time such a confused, pudding-headed, muddle-headed, fellow, as--Go
look.

So, Sir Critick, I could have replied; but I scorn it.--'Tis language
unurbane,--and only befitting the man who cannot give clear and
satisfactory accounts of things, or dive deep enough into the first
causes of human ignorance and confusion. It is moreover the reply
valiant--and therefore I reject it; for tho' it might have suited my
uncle Toby's character as a soldier excellently well,--and had he not
accustomed himself, in such attacks, to whistle the Lillabullero, as
he wanted no courage, 'tis the very