s her mistress's secret to carry, had got happily
delivered of both to Susannah behind the garden-wall.

As for my mother, she saw nothing at all in it, to make the least bustle
about--but Susannah was sufficient by herself for all the ends and
purposes you could possibly have, in exporting a family secret; for she
instantly imparted it by signs to Jonathan--and Jonathan by tokens to
the cook as she was basting a loin of mutton; the cook sold it with some
kitchen-fat to the postillion for a groat, who truck'd it with the dairy
maid for something of about the same value--and though whisper'd in the
hay-loft, Fame caught the notes with her brazen trumpet, and sounded
them upon the house-top--In a word, not an old woman in the village or
five miles round, who did not understand the difficulties of my uncle
Toby's siege, and what were the secret articles which had delayed the
surrender.--

My father, whose way was to force every event in nature into an
hypothesis, by which means never man crucified Truth at the rate he
did--had but just heard of the report as my uncle Toby set out; and
catching fire suddenly at the trespass done his brother by it, was
demonstrating to Yorick, notwithstanding my mother was sitting by--not
only, 'That the devil was in women, and that the whole of the affair was
lust;' but that every evil and disorder in the world, of what kind or
nature soever, from the first fall of Adam, down to my uncle Toby's
(inclusive), was owing one way or other to the same unruly appetite.

Yorick was just bringing my father's hypothesis to some temper, when
my uncle Toby entering the room with marks of infinite benevolence and
forgiveness in his looks, my father's eloquence re-kindled against the
passion--and as he was not very nice in the choice of his words when
he was wroth--as soon as my uncle Toby was seated by the fire, and had
filled his pipe, my father broke out in this manner.

Chapter 4.XCII.

--That provision should be made for continuing the race of so great,
so exalted and godlike a Being as man--I am far from denying--but
philosophy speaks freely of every thing; and therefore I still think
and do maintain it to be a pity, that it should be done by means of
a passion which bends down the faculties, and turns all the wisdom,
contemplations, and operations of the soul backwards--a passion, my
dear, continued my father, addressing himself to my mother, which
couples and equals wise men with fools,