dvice at all. Wot 'e
wanted was for me to tell 'im 'ow to get rid of Miss Lamb and marry Mrs.
Plimmer without anybody being offended or having their feelings hurt.

"Mrs. Plimmer came down to the ship the very next evening. Fine-looking
woman she was, and, wot with 'er watch and chain and di'mond rings and
brooches and such-like, I should think she must 'ave 'ad five or six
pounds' worth of jewell'ry on 'er. She gave me a very pleasant smile,
and I gave 'er one back, and we stood chatting there like old friends
till at last she tore 'erself away and went on board the ship.

"She came off by and by hanging on Cap'n Tarbell's arm. The cap'n was
dressed up in 'is Sunday clothes, with one of the cleanest collars on I
'ave ever seen in my life, and smoking a cigar that smelt like an escape
of gas. He came back alone at ha'past eleven that night, and 'e told me
that if it wasn't for the other one down Shoremouth way he should be the
'appiest man on earth.

"'Mrs. Plimmer's only got one fault,' he ses, shaking his 'cad, 'and
that's jealousy. If she got to know of Laura Lamb, it would be all U.P.
It makes me go cold all over when I think of it. The only thing is to
get married as quick as I can; then she can't help 'erself.'

"'It wouldn't prevent the other one making a fuss, though,' I ses.

"'No,' he ses, very thoughtfully, 'it wouldn't. I shall 'ave to do
something there, but wot, I don't know.'

"He climbed on board like a man with a load on his mind, and arter a look
at the sky went below and forgot both 'is troubles in sleep.

"Mrs. Plimmer came down to the wharf every time the ship was up, arter
that. Sometimes she'd spend the evening aboard, and sometimes they'd go
off and spend it somewhere else. She 'ad a fancy for the cabin, I think,
and the cap'n told me that she 'ad said when they were married she was
going to sail with 'im sometimes.

"'But it ain't for six months yet,' he ses, 'and a lot o' things might
'appen to the other one in that time, with luck.'

"It was just about a month arter that that 'e came to me one evening
trembling all over. I 'ad just come on dooty, and afore I could ask 'im
wot was the matter he 'ad got me in the 'Bull's Head' and stood me three
'arf-pints, one arter the other.

"'I'm ruined,' he ses in a 'usky whisper; 'I'm done for. Why was wimmen
made? Wot good are they? Fancy 'ow bright and 'appy we should all be
without 'em.'

"'I started to p'int out one or two th