tween two suitors, and managed
admirably: in fact she was in her element. I observed that she once or
twice threw a certain marked fondness and pointed partiality into her
manner towards me--the fop. With such emphasis and animation did she
favour me, such glances did she dart out into the listening and
applauding crowd, that to me--who knew her--it presently became evident
she was acting _at_ some one; and I followed her eye, her smile, her
gesture, and ere long discovered that she had at least singled out a
handsome and distinguished aim for her shafts; full in the path of
those arrows--taller than other spectators, and therefore more sure to
receive them--stood, in attitude quiet but intent, a well-known
form--that of Dr. John.

The spectacle seemed somehow suggestive. There was language in Dr.
John's look, though I cannot tell what he said; it animated me: I drew
out of it a history; I put my idea into the part I per formed; I threw
it into my wooing of Ginevra. In the "Ours," or sincere lover, I saw
Dr. John. Did I pity him, as erst? No, I hardened my heart, rivalled
and out-rivalled him. I knew myself but a fop, but where _he_ was
outcast _I_ could please. Now I know acted as if wishful and resolute
to win and conquer. Ginevra seconded me; between us we half-changed the
nature of the _role_, gilding it from top to toe. Between the acts M.
Paul, told us he knew not what possessed us, and half expostulated.
"C'est peut-etre plus beau que votre modele," said he, "mais ce n'est
pas juste." I know not what possessed me either; but somehow, my
longing was to eclipse the "Ours," _i.e._, Dr. John. Ginevra was
tender; how could I be otherwise than chivalric? Retaining the letter,
I recklessly altered the spirit of the _role_. Without heart, without
interest, I could not play it at all. It must be played--in went the
yearned-for seasoning--thus favoured, I played it with relish.

What I felt that night, and what I did, I no more expected to feel and
do, than to be lifted in a trance to the seventh heaven. Cold,
reluctant, apprehensive, I had accepted a part to please another: ere
long, warming, becoming interested, taking courage, I acted to please
myself. Yet the next day, when I thought it over, I quite disapproved
of these amateur performances; and though glad that I had obliged M.
Paul, and tried my own strength for once, I took a firm resolution,
never to be drawn into a similar affair. A keen relish for dramatic
exp