more than I can tell I will not own it to her or to any living
creature but yourself. Undeserving as I am, I know that I can trust you.

"It is needless to dwell at any length on this confession. Many things
in my conduct, which must have perplexed you, will explain themselves
flow. There has been, however, one concealment on my part, which it is
due to you that I should acknowledge.

"'If Mrs. Gallilee had taken me into her confidence, I confess that my
jealousy would have degraded me into becoming her accomplice. As things
were, I was too angry and too cunning to let her make use of me without
trusting me.

"'There are other acts of deceit which I ought to acknowledge--if I
could summon composure enough to write about them. Better to say at
once--I am not worthy of your pardon, not worthy even of your pity.

"'With the same sincerity, I warn you that the wickedness in me, on
which Mrs. Gallilee calculated, may be in me still. The influence of
your higher and better nature--helped perhaps by that other influence
of which the old priest spoke in his letter--has opened my heart to
tenderness and penitence of which I never believed myself capable: has
brought the burning tears into my eyes which make it a hard task to
write to you. All this I know, and yet I dare not believe in myself.
It is useless to deny it, Carmina--I love him. Even now, when you have
found me out, I love him. Don't trust me. Oh, God, what torture it is to
write it--but I do write it, I _will_ write it--don't trust me!

"'One thing I may say for myself. I know the utter hopelessness of that
love which I have acknowledged. I know that he returns your love, and
will never return mine. So let it be.

"'I am not young; I have no right to comfort myself with hopes that I
know to be vain. If one of us is to suffer, let it be that one who is
used to suffering. I have never been the darling of my parents, like
you; I have not been used at home to the kindness and the love that
you remember. A life without sweetness and joy has well fitted me for a
loveless future. And, besides, you are worthy of him, and I am not. Mrs.
Gallilee is wrong, Carmina, if she thinks I am your rival. I am not your
rival; I never can be your rival. Believe nothing else, but, for God's
sake, believe that!

"'I have no more to say--at least no more that I can remember now.
Perhaps, you shrink from remaining in the same house with me? Let me
know it, and I shall be ready--I might