are very different from those of a right-angled triangle. Now I think
there are people in the world of whom one can only judge rightly
according to those mathematical principles applied to their original
construction: for if air or fire predominates in our natures, we are
scalene triangles; if earth, right-angled. Now, as air is so notably
manifested in Jack's conformation, he is, nolens volens, produced in
conformity with his preponderating element. He is a scalene triangle,
and must be judged, accordingly, upon irregular, lop-sided principles;
whereas you and I, common-place mortals, are produced, like the
earth, which is our preponderating element, with our triangles all
right-angled, comfortable and complete,--for which blessing let us thank
Providence, and be charitable to those who are necessarily windy and
gaseous, from that unlucky scalene triangle upon which they have had
the misfortune to be constructed, and which, you perceive, is quite at
variance with the mathematical constitution of the earth!"

Pisistratus.--"Sir, I am very happy to hear so simple, easy, and
intelligible an explanation of Uncle Jack's peculiarities; and I only
hope that, for the future, the sides of his scalene triangle may never
be produced to our rectangular conformations."

Mr. Caxton (descending from his stilts with an air as mildly reproachful
as if I had been cavilling at the virtues of Socrates).--"You don't do
your uncle justice, Pisistratus,--he is a very clever man; and I am
sure that, in spite of his scalene misfortune, he would be an honest
one,--that is [added Mr. Caxton, correcting himself], not romantically
or heroically honest, but holiest as men go,--if he could but keep his
head long enough above water; but, you see, when the best man in the
world is engaged in the process of sinking, he catches hold of whatever
comes in his way, and drowns the very friend who is swimming to save
him."

Pisistratus.--"Perfectly true, sir; but Uncle Jack makes it his business
to be always sinking!"

Mr. Caxton (with naivete).--"And how could it be otherwise, when he has
been carrying all his fellow-creatures in his breeches' pockets? Now he
has got rid of that dead weight, I should not be surprised if he swam
like a cork."

Pisistratus (who, since the "Capitalist," has become a strong
Anti-Jackian). "But if, sir, you really think Uncle Jack's love for his
fellow-creatures is genuine, that is surely not the worst part of him."

Mr.