was not due to cowardice on my part. I properly reasoned that
if a burglar tried to shoot me while I was rushing around the house
after him in the darkness, a suit of black pajamas would somewhat spoil
his aim, and, not being able to see me, he would not shoot at all.
In this way I should save Sarah the nerve shock that would follow the
explosion of a pistol in the house. For Sarah was very much more afraid
of pistols than of burglars. I am sure there were only two reasons why
I had never killed a burglar with a pistol: one was that no burglar had
ever entered our flat, and the other was that I never had a pistol.

But I knew that one is much less protected in a suburb than in town,
and when I decided to build I studied the burglar protection matter most
carefully. I said nothing to Sarah about it, for fear it would upset her
nerves, but for months I considered every method that seemed to have
any merit, and that would avoid getting a burglar's blood--or
mine--spattered around on our new furnishings. I desired some method by
which I could finish up a burglar properly without having to leave my
bed, for although Sarah is brave enough in sending me out of bed to
catch a burglar, I knew she must suffer severe nerve strain during the
time I was wandering about in the dark. Her objection to explosives had
also to be considered, and I really had to exercise my brain more than
common before I hit upon what I may now consider the only perfect method
of handling burglars.

Several things coincided to suggest my method. One of these was Sarah's
foolish notion that our silver must, every night, be brought from
the dining-room and deposited under our bed. This I considered a most
foolhardy tempting of fate. It coaxed any burglar who ordinarily would
have quietly taken the silver from the dining-room and have then gone
away peacefully, to enter our room. The knowledge that I lay in bed
ready at any time to spring out upon him would make him prepare his
revolver, and his nervousness might make him shoot me, which would quite
upset Sarah's nerves. I told Sarah so, but she had a hereditary instinct
for bringing the silver to the bedroom, and insisted. I saw that in
the suburban house this, would be continued as "bringing the silver
upstairs," and a trial of my carpet-saving stairs suggested to me my
burglar-defeating plan. I had the apparatus built into the house, and I
had the house planned to agree with the apparatus.

For several