ind that ye maun drink the yill.

Yes; and I will drink it to the very dregs: and none but myself shall
know how bitter I find it!

August 20th.--We are shaken down again to about our usual position.
Arthur has returned to nearly his former condition and habits; and I have
found it my wisest plan to shut my eyes against the past and future, as
far as he, at least, is concerned, and live only for the present: to love
him when I can; to smile (if possible) when he smiles, be cheerful when
he is cheerful, and pleased when he is agreeable; and when he is not, to
try to make him so; and if that won't answer, to bear with him, to excuse
him, and forgive him as well as I can, and restrain my own evil passions
from aggravating his; and yet, while I thus yield and minister to his
more harmless propensities to self-indulgence, to do all in my power to
save him from the worse.

But we shall not be long alone together. I shall shortly be called upon
to entertain the same select body of friends as we had the autumn before
last, with the addition of Mr. Hattersley and, at my special request, his
wife and child. I long to see Milicent, and her little girl too. The
latter is now above a year old; she will be a charming playmate for my
little Arthur.

September 30th.--Our guests have been here a week or two; but I have had
no leisure to pass any comments upon them till now. I cannot get over my
dislike to Lady Lowborough. It is not founded on mere personal pique; it
is the woman herself that I dislike, because I so thoroughly disapprove
of her. I always avoid her company as much as I can without violating
the laws of hospitality; but when we do speak or converse together, it is
with the utmost civility, even apparent cordiality on her part; but
preserve me from such cordiality! It is like handling brier-roses and
may-blossoms, bright enough to the eye, and outwardly soft to the touch,
but you know there are thorns beneath, and every now and then you feel
them too; and perhaps resent the injury by crushing them in till you have
destroyed their power, though somewhat to the detriment of your own
fingers.

Of late, however, I have seen nothing in her conduct towards Arthur to
anger or alarm me. During the first few days I thought she seemed very
solicitous to win his admiration. Her efforts were not unnoticed by him:
I frequently saw him smiling to himself at her artful manoeuvres: but, to
his praise be it spoken, her shafts