etsy,' said Mr. Bob Sawyer, with great suavity, and dispersing,
at the same time, the tumultuous little mob of glasses the girl had
collected in the centre of the table--'now, Betsy, the warm water; be
brisk, there's a good girl.'

'You can't have no warm water,' replied Betsy.

'No warm water!' exclaimed Mr. Bob Sawyer.

'No,' said the girl, with a shake of the head which expressed a more
decided negative than the most copious language could have conveyed.
'Missis Raddle said you warn't to have none.'

The surprise depicted on the countenances of his guests imparted new
courage to the host.

'Bring up the warm water instantly--instantly!' said Mr. Bob Sawyer,
with desperate sternness.

'No. I can't,' replied the girl; 'Missis Raddle raked out the kitchen
fire afore she went to bed, and locked up the kittle.'

'Oh, never mind; never mind. Pray don't disturb yourself about such
a trifle,' said Mr. Pickwick, observing the conflict of Bob Sawyer's
passions, as depicted in his countenance, 'cold water will do very
well.'

'Oh, admirably,' said Mr. Benjamin Allen.

'My landlady is subject to some slight attacks of mental derangement,'
remarked Bob Sawyer, with a ghastly smile; 'I fear I must give her
warning.'

'No, don't,' said Ben Allen.

'I fear I must,' said Bob, with heroic firmness. 'I'll pay her what
I owe her, and give her warning to-morrow morning.' Poor fellow! how
devoutly he wished he could!

Mr. Bob Sawyer's heart-sickening attempts to rally under this last blow,
communicated a dispiriting influence to the company, the greater part of
whom, with the view of raising their spirits, attached themselves with
extra cordiality to the cold brandy-and-water, the first perceptible
effects of which were displayed in a renewal of hostilities between the
scorbutic youth and the gentleman in the shirt. The belligerents vented
their feelings of mutual contempt, for some time, in a variety of
frownings and snortings, until at last the scorbutic youth felt it
necessary to come to a more explicit understanding on the matter;
when the following clear understanding took place. 'Sawyer,' said the
scorbutic youth, in a loud voice.

'Well, Noddy,' replied Mr. Bob Sawyer.

'I should be very sorry, Sawyer,' said Mr. Noddy, 'to create any
unpleasantness at any friend's table, and much less at yours,
Sawyer--very; but I must take this opportunity of informing Mr. Gunter
that he is no gentleman.'

'And I should be ver