are you?' inquired Mr. Jingle, in so fierce a tone, that
the little gentleman involuntarily fell back a step or two.

'Who is he, you scoundrel,' interposed Wardle. 'He's my lawyer,
Mr. Perker, of Gray's Inn. Perker, I'll have this fellow
prosecuted--indicted--I'll--I'll--I'll ruin him. And you,' continued Mr.
Wardle, turning abruptly round to his sister--'you, Rachael, at a time
of life when you ought to know better, what do you mean by running away
with a vagabond, disgracing your family, and making yourself miserable?
Get on your bonnet and come back. Call a hackney-coach there, directly,
and bring this lady's bill, d'ye hear--d'ye hear?' 'Cert'nly, Sir,'
replied Sam, who had answered Wardle's violent ringing of the bell with
a degree of celerity which must have appeared marvellous to anybody who
didn't know that his eye had been applied to the outside of the keyhole
during the whole interview.

'Get on your bonnet,' repeated Wardle.

'Do nothing of the kind,' said Jingle. 'Leave the room, Sir--no business
here--lady's free to act as she pleases--more than one-and-twenty.'

'More than one-and-twenty!' ejaculated Wardle contemptuously. 'More than
one-and-forty!'

'I ain't,' said the spinster aunt, her indignation getting the better of
her determination to faint.

'You are,' replied Wardle; 'you're fifty if you're an hour.'

Here the spinster aunt uttered a loud shriek, and became senseless.

'A glass of water,' said the humane Mr. Pickwick, summoning the
landlady.

'A glass of water!' said the passionate Wardle. 'Bring a bucket, and
throw it all over her; it'll do her good, and she richly deserves it.'

'Ugh, you brute!' ejaculated the kind-hearted landlady. 'Poor dear.' And
with sundry ejaculations of 'Come now, there's a dear--drink a little of
this--it'll do you good--don't give way so--there's a love,' etc.
etc., the landlady, assisted by a chambermaid, proceeded to vinegar the
forehead, beat the hands, titillate the nose, and unlace the stays of
the spinster aunt, and to administer such other restoratives as are
usually applied by compassionate females to ladies who are endeavouring
to ferment themselves into hysterics.

'Coach is ready, Sir,' said Sam, appearing at the door.

'Come along,' cried Wardle. 'I'll carry her downstairs.'

At this proposition, the hysterics came on with redoubled violence.
The landlady was about to enter a very violent protest against this
proceeding, and had already giv