e by force and wiolence afore it was
over.'

'Wot! is she so wery fond on you?' inquired Sam.

'Fond!' replied his father. 'I can't keep her avay from me. If I was
locked up in a fireproof chest vith a patent Brahmin, she'd find means
to get at me, Sammy.'

'Wot a thing it is to be so sought arter!' observed Sam, smiling.

'I don't take no pride out on it, Sammy,' replied Mr. Weller, poking the
fire vehemently, 'it's a horrid sitiwation. I'm actiwally drove out
o' house and home by it. The breath was scarcely out o' your poor
mother-in-law's body, ven vun old 'ooman sends me a pot o' jam, and
another a pot o' jelly, and another brews a blessed large jug o'
camomile-tea, vich she brings in vith her own hands.' Mr. Weller
paused with an aspect of intense disgust, and looking round, added in
a whisper, 'They wos all widders, Sammy, all on 'em, 'cept the
camomile-tea vun, as wos a single young lady o' fifty-three.'

Sam gave a comical look in reply, and the old gentleman having broken
an obstinate lump of coal, with a countenance expressive of as much
earnestness and malice as if it had been the head of one of the widows
last-mentioned, said:

'In short, Sammy, I feel that I ain't safe anyveres but on the box.'

'How are you safer there than anyveres else?' interrupted Sam.

''Cos a coachman's a privileged indiwidual,' replied Mr. Weller, looking
fixedly at his son. ''Cos a coachman may do vithout suspicion wot other
men may not; 'cos a coachman may be on the wery amicablest terms with
eighty mile o' females, and yet nobody think that he ever means to marry
any vun among 'em. And wot other man can say the same, Sammy?'

'Vell, there's somethin' in that,' said Sam.

'If your gov'nor had been a coachman,' reasoned Mr. Weller, 'do you
s'pose as that 'ere jury 'ud ever ha' conwicted him, s'posin' it
possible as the matter could ha' gone to that extremity? They dustn't
ha' done it.'

'Wy not?' said Sam, rather disparagingly.

'Wy not!' rejoined Mr. Weller; ''cos it 'ud ha' gone agin their
consciences. A reg'lar coachman's a sort o' con-nectin' link betwixt
singleness and matrimony, and every practicable man knows it.'

'Wot! You mean, they're gen'ral favorites, and nobody takes adwantage on
'em, p'raps?' said Sam.

His father nodded.

'How it ever come to that 'ere pass,' resumed the parent Weller, 'I
can't say. Wy it is that long-stage coachmen possess such insiniwations,
and is alvays looked up to--a-dored I