an a bad one,
but it is a fearful thing to be obliged to seek an excuse for oneself by
comparing one's own guilt with that of persons far beneath ourselves. I
can no longer venture to compare my actions with those of upright
persons, consequently, then, I am compelled to institute a comparison
between myself and the degraded beings with whom I live; so that I
plainly perceive in the end the conscience becomes hardened and is put
to sleep. The next theft I commit, probably without the prospect of
replacing the money, but from mere cupidity, I might still find an
excuse for myself by comparing my conduct with that of a man who adds
murder to theft; and yet at this moment there is as great a difference
between me and a murderer as there is between a person of untainted
character and myself. So, because there are beings a thousand times more
degraded and debased than I am, by degrees my own degradation would
become diminished in my estimation; instead of being able to say, as I
once could, 'I am as honest a man as any I meet with,' I shall be
obliged to content myself with saying I am the least guilty of the vile
wretches among whom I am condemned for ever to live."

"Oh, do not say for ever! Once released from this place--"

"What should I gain even then? The lost creatures by whom I am
surrounded are perfectly well acquainted with my person, and, were I
even to be set free, I am exposed to the chance of meeting them again,
and being hailed as a prison associate; and even though the fact of my
imprisonment might be unknown, these unprincipled beings would be for
ever threatening me to divulge it, thereby holding me completely in
their power, by bands too firm for me to hope to break; while, on the
other hand, had I been kept confined in my cell until my trial, they
would have known nothing of me, or I of them; so that I should have
escaped the fears which may paralyse my best resolutions. And, besides,
had I been permitted to contemplate my fault in the solitude of my cell,
instead of decreasing in my eyes, its enormity would have appeared still
greater; and in the same proportion would the expiation I proposed to
make have been augmented; and as my sin grew more and more apparent to
my unbiassed view, so also would my earnest determination to atone for
it by every means my humble sphere afforded have been strengthened; for
well I know it takes a hundred good deeds to efface the recollection of
one bad.

"But how can I