On the cobble, or asphaltum, in the mud or in the sand,
Plug!
Oh, you'll hear the story frequently of how some clever man
Cut clean across the country, so that now he's in the van;
You may think that you will do it, but I don't believe you can,
So plug!

[Illustration: Do you want to reach the heights?

_Page 92._]

Are you singing in the chorus? Do you want to be a star?
Plug!
You may think that you're a genius, but I don't believe you are,
So plug!
Oh, you'll hear of this or that one who was born without a name,
Who slept eleven hours a day and dreamed the way to fame,
Who simply couldn't push it off, so rapidly it came!
But plug.

Are you living in the valley? Do you want to reach the height?
Plug!
Where the hottest sun of day is and the coldest stars of night?
Plug!
Oh, it may be you're a fool, but if a fool you want to be,
If you want to climb above the crowd so every one can see
Just how a fool may look when he is at his apogee,
Why, plug!

Can you make a mile a minute? Do you want to make it two?
Plug!
Are you good and up against it? Well, the only thing to do
Is plug.
Oh, you'll find some marshy places, where the crust is pretty thin,
And when you think you're gliding out, you're only sliding in,
But the only thing for you to do is think of this and grin,
And plug.

There's many a word that's prettier that hasn't half the cheer
Of plug.
It may not save you in a day, but try it for a year.
Plug!
And to show you I am competent to tell you what is what,
I assure you that I never yet have made a centre shot,
Which surely is an ample demonstration that I ought
To plug.

FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTENT.

I.

You sometimes think you'd like to be
John D.?
And not a man you know would dare
To josh you on your handsome hair,
Or say, "Hey, John, it's rather rude
To boost refined and jump on crude,
To help Chicago University,
Or bull the doctrine of--immersity."

II.

You wouldn't care to be the Pope,
I hope?
With not a chum to call your own,
To h