ches. You know what the feeling is, for oftentimes you have said
to yourself in those lonely night-watches: "How I wish I had him
here!"

It is 2 o'clock in the morning; the rain is coming down in torrents;
danger lurks in every fire-bay; the loneliness and the weirdness give
you the creeps.

How you wish you could wake him up by digging him in the ribs, and
telling him that it is time to go on his tour of duty up and down
those clay-sodden trenches at the hour of the night when his courage
(if he ever had any) would be at its lowest.

What a delight it would be if we only had him with us when we take
over our trenches, to show him that foul-smelling, rat-ridden dugout,
and tell him to curl himself up to sleep there.

How sweet would be the joy to see him in his pale-coloured breeches,
huddled up in a saphead, trying to get a little comfort on a cold, raw
December morning, from a drop of tea in a tin mug, well smudged with
the wet clay of numerous fingers.

CHAPTER VI

RATIONS

I LEARN TO HATE FOOD. MATHEMATICAL PROBLEMS

We arrived at Rouen at 7.30 the following morning. I had to report to
the R.T.O. by 9.30, and in the meantime 3,534 rations had to be cut up
and distributed on the station platform among 1,178 officers and men.

Have you ever had such a problem as that? If not, then avoid it, if it
ever comes your way.

The train was about twice the length of the platform, so on arrival it
was broken in half, and the rear half shunted on to another line.

The rations were contained in two trucks, attached to the rear half of
the train, so the contents had to be carried by hand across several
sets of rails, to the end of the platform.

I had a fatigue party of 60 men at work, and presently a huge quantity
of provisions began to pile up. There were chests of tea, cases of
biscuits, cases of jam, cases of bully beef, sugar, and bacon
sufficient to fill the warehouse of a wholesale provision merchant.

Three days' rations for 1,178 officers and men, in bulk; and 1,178
officers and men began to gather around the stack, in hungry
expectancy of breakfast.

Now to issue rations to a battalion straight from bulk is quite
difficult enough, but to issue rations from bulk to units of various
strengths, belonging to over fifty regiments is enough to drive any
one crazy.

Each man was entitled to two and one-fourth ounces of tea, one-fourth
ounce of mustard, two and one-fourth pounds of biscuits, three-fo