you may relent."

Therefore, dropping the subject for that time, I remained, and sought,
by new kindnesses and attentions, to win some final increase of her
favor toward me, but feeling, at the same time, a little sore and
angry with myself. For, how wretchedly was I now maintaining that
proper independence of spirit, which I had always insisted even the
most blinded and devoted of lovers should feel! Had it not been my
cherished theory that no man should surrender his freedom of heart
without obtaining in return the utmost, unlimited, and unselfish
devotion? Yet, here I was giving up my whole soul to a blind passion,
rendered more and more absorbing, doubtless, by the opposition I
experienced, and for response I found myself willing to be content
with even the cinders of a former and only half-dead affection;
trusting, as so many men have vainly trusted, that by earnest care and
assiduity, I might, at last, re-illume the fading spark, and make its
new brightness glow for me.

So passed the autumn, during which I made frequent journeys between
coast and city; striving, at times, with the cares of business to
drive her image from my mind, and finding myself continually drawn
back again to that quiet nook which, gifted with her presence, had
become to me the brightest and only happy spot on earth. These
frequent departures, so contrary to my usual habit, soon began to
excite the inquiries and surmises of my friends. Fishing and shooting
protracted into the season so far as almost to touch the edge of the
winter, no longer served as satisfactory excuses for my absences; and
there were some among my friends, who, in their speculations, came
very near the truth, and hinted suspicions of some rustic passion. But
still, turning off their insinuations with a laugh, I kept my
secret--holding it the more carefully and earnestly, as I now began to
see hope dawning for me in the future.

For now, at last, it seemed as if I was about to prosper in my suit.
Each time that I came, Jessie appeared yet more pleased to see
me--more willing to give me that attractive confidence which can only
exist in full perfection between acknowledged lovers; less disposed to
analyze her mind's emotion with any critical severity, or speculate
whether this or that feeling had, or had not, passed the line between
friendship and love; more ready, at times, to surrender the struggle
and self-examination, confess herself vanquished, and yield up her
who