MR. S. In a short time, no one will be able to live with him.

MRS. L. Dear me! It is nothing but his high spirits and love of
mischief! But I own you are not unreasonable, Andrew. I don't want my
son to tease you, much less ill-treat you. I will forbid him, before
you, from going in the garden.

ANDREW. Good! Only do that, and I will give him my finest flowers, and
my best fruits, if he will only keep away.

MRS. L. (_sighing_). I seem to have made twenty excuses for my son in
ten minutes; but you shall be satisfied.

[Illustration: The Caricature Edward drew of the Gardener.]

JANE. Mrs. Langdon, I must also speak to you about Master Ned.

MRS. L. Well.

JANE. This morning he opened the cage door and let your canary fly away,
and twisted poor Poll's neck because she said, "Bad boy!"

MRS. L. Oh! oh! my parrot's neck!

JANE. Yes, ma'am.

MR. S. Now, madam, this is not thoughtlessness: it is a case of actual
badness.

JANE. Yes, and he does something as bad every day.

ANDREW. Why, he is worse than Lucifer!

JANE. Every morning, ma'am, he overturns your toilet table, spills the
cologne water, upsets your work box, makes your finest letter paper into
boats, and puts the kitten to sleep in the crown of your best bonnet;
and then, when I beg him to behave, he calls me an old cat, and a
buzzard, and a red-headed crab.

MRS. L. Why have you not told me this before?

JANE. Why, ma'am, I have; but it has always ended by his being excused
and I scolded.

MRS. L. Stay here. You shall see if I excuse him! He might change his
clothes ten times, pull up a plant or two, pick a few flowers, or even
trouble you at your work. I don't see anything so very dreadful in all
that. But to twist my parrot's neck! Oh!--

SCENE V.--_Enter_ PATRICK.

MRS. L. Well, Patrick--

PATRICK (_rubbing his legs and making wry faces_). He is coming, ma'am--

MRS. L. What's the matter?

PATRICK. Master Ned has been breaking a stick over my legs.

MRS. L. (_very angry_). The child's a demon! I am outrageous! I am
furious!

MR. S. Control yourself, madam! do not fly so suddenly from extreme
indulgence to severity; do not correct a child when you are in a
passion.

MRS. L. You may be right, sir, but I shall punish him as he deserves.

ANDREW. Please don't beat him, ma'am. Here he comes.

SCENE VI.--_Enter_ EDWARD, _who runs up to his mother, and is about to
kiss her_.

EDWARD. Were you asking for me, mamma? dear, pretty