as I can't go nowhere but there you be
a-waitin' to be trod on, Mr. Grimes, sir."

Hereupon the Auctioneer rapped louder than ever, upon which, the clamour
subsiding, he smiled his most jovial smile, and once more began:

"Gentlemen! you have all had an opportunity to examine the furniture I
am about to dispose of, and, as fair minded human beings I think you
will admit that a finer lot of genuine antique was never offered at one
and the same time. Gentlemen, I am not going to burst forth into
laudatory rodomontade, (which is a word, gentlemen that I employ only
among an enlightened community such as I now have the honour of
addressing),--neither do I propose to waste your time in purposeless
verbiage, (which is another of the same kind, gentlemen),--therefore,
without further preface, or preamble, we will proceed at once to
business. The first lot I have to offer you is a screen,--six foot
high,--bring out the screen, Theodore! There it is, gentlemen,--open it
out, Theodore! Observe, Gentlemen it is carved rosewood, the panels hand
painted, and representing shepherds, and shepherdesses, disporting
themselves under a tree with banjo and guitar. Now what am I offered for
this hand-painted, antique screen,--come?"

"Fifteen shillings!" from someone deep hidden in the crowd.

"Start as low as you like, gentlemen! I am offered a miserable fifteen
shillings for a genuine, hand-painted--"

"Sixteen!" this from a long, loose-limbed fellow with a patch over one
eye, and another on his cheek.

"A pound!" said Adam, promptly.

"A guinea!" nodded he of the patches.

"Twenty-five shillin's!" said Adam.

"At twenty-five shillings!" cried the Auctioneer, "any advance?--a
genuine, hand-painted, antique screen,--going at twenty-five--at
twenty-five,--going--going--gone! To the large gentleman in the
neckcloth, Theodore!"

"Theer be that Job Jagway, sir," said Adam, leaning across the
side-board to impart this information,--"over yonder, Mr. Belloo
sir,--'im as was bidding for the screen,--the tall chap wi' the patches.
Two patches be pretty good, but I do wish as I'd give him a couple more,
while I was about it, Mr. Belloo sir." Here, the Auctioneer's voice put
an end to Adam's self-reproaches, and he turned back to the business
in hand.

"The next lot I'm going to dispose of, gentlemen, is a fine set of six
chairs with carved antique backs, and upholstered in tapestry. Also two
arm-chairs to match,--wheel 'em out, Theodo