ise everybody is in place except the Judge.
Suddenly the CLERK looks off-stage right and motions
for everybody to rise. Enter the JUDGE. He wears a
black cap and gown and has his gavel in his hand.
The two POLICEMEN walk behind him holding up his gown.
He mounts the bench and glares all about him before he
seats himself. There is a PRETTY GIRL in the front row
left, and he takes a good look at her, smiles, frowns
at her escort. He motions the police to leave him and
take their places with the spectators and he then raps
vigorously with his gavel for order.

JUDGE
Hear! Hear! Court is set! My honor is on de bench. You moufy folks set
up!
(He glares at the boy with the pretty girl)
All right, Mr. Whistle-britches, just keep up dat jawing now and see
how much time I'll give you!

BOY
I wasn't talking, your honor.

JUDGE
Well, quit looking so moufy.
(to CLERK)
Call de first case. And I warn each and all dat my honor is in bad
humor dis mawnin'. I'd give a canary bird twenty years for peckin'
at a elephant.
(to CLERK)
Bring 'em on.

CLERK
(Reading)
Cliff Mullins, charged with assault upon his wife with a weapon and
disturbing the peace.
(As CLIFF is led to the bar by the
officer, the JUDGE glares ferociously
at the prisoner. His wife, all
bandages, limps up to the bar at the
same time.)

JUDGE
So youse one of dese hard-boiled wife-beaters, huh? Just a mean old
woman-Jessie! If I don't lay a hearing on you, God's a gopher! Now what
_made_ you cut such a caper?

CLIFF
Judge, I didn't go hunt her. Saturday night I was down on Dearborn
Street in a nasty ditch *[Handwritten: nasty ditch crossed out in
pencil, (buffet flat)]--

JUDGE
A nasty ditch? *[Handwritten: A nasty ditch crossed out in pencil,
(Buffet flat)]

CLIFF
Aw, at Emma Hayles' house.

JUDGE
Oh, yes. Go on.

CLIFF
Well,
(Points thumb at wife)
she come down dere and claim I took her money and she claimed I wuz
spending it on Emma.

CLIFF'S WIFE
And dat's just whut he was doing, too,