ch
him, I told different parties what I had sent, and I was confident
that they would repeat it to him. "Tell him from me," I said, "that
I do not want any collision with him; that I desire to avoid all
personal difficulties; but that I shall not attempt to avoid him; that
I shall not cross the street on his account, nor go a step out of my
way for him; that I have heard of his threats, and that if he attacks
me or comes at me in a threatening manner I will kill him."[4] I
acted on my plan. I often met him in the streets and in saloons, and
whenever I drew near him I dropped my hand into my pocket and cocked
my pistols to be ready for any emergency. People warned me to look
out for him; to beware of being taken at a disadvantage; and I was
constantly on my guard. I felt that I was in great danger; but after
awhile this sense of danger had a sort of fascination, and I often
went to places where he was, to which I would not otherwise have gone.
Whenever I met him I kept my eye on him, and whenever I passed him on
the street I turned around and narrowly watched him until he had
gone some distance. I am persuaded if I had taken any other course, I
should have been killed. I do not say Turner would have deliberately
shot me down, or that he would have attempted anything against me in
his sober moments; but when excited with drink, and particularly when
in the presence of the lawless crowds who heard his threats, it would
have taken but little to urge him on. As it turned out, however, he
never interfered with me, perhaps because he knew I was armed and
believed that, if I were attacked, somebody, and perhaps more than
one, would be badly hurt. I have been often assured by citizens of
Marysville that it was only the seeming recklessness of my conduct,
and the determination I showed not to avoid him or go out of his way,
that saved me. But at the same time my business was ruined. Not only
was I prevented, by his refusal to obey the mandate of the Supreme
Court, from appearing as an advocate, but I could not, on account of
the relation I occupied towards him, practice at all; nor could I,
under the circumstances, leave Marysville and make my intended visit
East. Having nothing else to do, I went into speculations which
failed, and in a short time--a much shorter time than it took to make
my money--I lost nearly all I had acquired and became involved in
debt.

[1] See Exhibit D, in Appendix.

[2] See Exhibit E, in Appendix.