'They a' adore the kilt. Can ye no spare saxpence . . .
weel, thruppence?'

'I could spare ye a bat on the ear, but I'll tell ye what I'll dae.
I've got some money comin' the morn, an' I'll present ye wi' twa
bob, if ye'll tak' yer oath to spend them baith on gi'ein' the fat
yin a treat.'

Willie gasped. 'D'ye think I'm completely mad?'

There's something wrang wi' ye when ye can sponge aft a girl, even
supposin' she's fat. So ye can tak' ma offer or a dashed guid
hammerin' when the first chance comes.'

'Dinna be sae free wi' yer hammerin's, ma lord! Remember, it was a
draw the last time.'

'I wasna angry, an' I had gloves on.' Willie considered for a
moment and decided to compromise.

'I'll burst a bob on her to please ye.'

'Twa--or a hammerin'.'

'But what ---- guid is the siller gaun to dae me, if I squander it
a' on her? Ye micht as weel fling it in the Clyde. She's no
wantin' that sort o' kindness frae me. She prefers a bit cuddle.'

'Did ye cuddle her?' Macgregor asked with an interest indifferently
concealed.

'Some o' her. But she's earnin' guid money at the ----'

'I dinna suppose she wud ha'e treated ye excep' she had mair money
nor brains.'

'She wud pairt wi' her last farden for ma sake!'

'Ach, awa' an' eat grass! It's weel seen that men are scarce the
noo.'

'Mind wha ye're insultin'!'

'I'm gaun up to the billet.' Macgregor said, shortly, and walked
off.

Presently, Willie, a new idea in his busy brain, overtook him.

'Macgreegor, if ye len' me thruppence the noo, I'll ca' it a
bargain aboot the twa bob.'

He got the pennies then, and on the following day a florin, upon
which he took a solemn oath. But as he fingered the silver later
he smiled secretly and almost serenely. If the fat girl had stood
him a substantial meal, cigarettes and a picture entertainment for
nothing, what might not he expect as a return for the squandering
of two shillings?

As for Macgregor, his motives were probably not unmixed: the
pleasure which he foresaw for the poor, fat girl was contingent on
the agony of Willie while spending good money on a person other
than himself.

However, Willie was not long in securing a late pass, and went upon
his jaunt in an apparently chastened state of mind, though in the
best possible humour.

He returned in the worst possible.

'Twa bob clean wasted,' he grunted, squatting down by Macgregor's
bed. 'I wish to ---- I had flung it in the Clyde when