said Mr.
Cooper, gloomily.

"You can bring your beer with you," said his sister, sharply. "Come
along."

Mr. Cooper grinned, and, placing a couple of bottles in his coat
pockets, followed the two ladies to the house. Seated at the kitchen
table, he grinned again, as a persistent drumming took place on the
cellar door. His wife smiled, and a faint, sour attempt in the same
direction appeared on the face of Mrs. Simpson.

"Open the door!" bellowed an indignant voice. "Open the door!"

Mrs. Simpson, commanding silence with an uplifted finger, proceeded to
carve the beef. A rattle of knives and forks succeeded.

"O-pen-the-door!" said the voice again.

"Not so much noise," commanded Mr. Cooper. "I can't hear myself eat."

"Bob!" said the voice, in relieved accents, "Bob! Come and let me
out."

Mr. Cooper, putting a huge hand over his mouth, struggled nobly with his
feelings.

"Who are you calling 'Bob'?" he demanded, in an unsteady voice. "You
keep yourself to yourself. I've heard all about you. You've got to
stay there till my brother-in-law comes home."

"It's me, Bob," said Mr. Simpson--"Bill."

"Yes, I dare say," said Mr. Cooper; "but if you're Bill, why haven't you
got Bill's voice?"

"Let me out and look at me," said Mr. Simpson.

There was a faint scream from both ladies, followed by protests.

"Don't be alarmed," said Mr. Cooper, reassuringly. "I wasn't born
yesterday. I don't want to get a crack over the head."

"It's all a mistake, Bob," said the prisoner, appealingly. "I just had
a shave and a haircut and--and a little hair-dye. If you open the door
you'll know me at once."

"How would it be," said Mr. Cooper, turning to his sister, and speaking
with unusual distinctness--"how would it be if you opened the door, and
just as he put his head out I hit it a crack with the poker?"

"You try it on," said the voice behind the door, hotly. "You know who I
am well enough, Bob Cooper. I don't want any more of your nonsense.
Milly has put you up to this!"

"If your wife don't know you, how do you think I can?" said Mr. Cooper.
"Now, look here; you keep quiet till my brother-in-law comes home. If
he don't come home perhaps we shall be more likely to think you're him.
If he's not home by to-morrow morning we--Hsh! Hsh! Don't you know
there's ladies present?"

"That settles it," said Mrs. Cooper, speaking for the first time. "My
brother-in-law would never talk like that."

"