d into the papers that were seized; which yet
you see the nation is not so easy to believe as your own jury; but the
matter is not difficult to find twelve men in Newgate who would acquit a
malefactor.

I have only one favour to desire of you at parting, that when you think
of answering this poem, you would employ the same pens against it, who
have combated with so much success against Absalom and Achitophel: for
then you may assure yourselves of a clear victory, without the least
reply. Rail at me abundantly; and, not to break a custom, do it without
wit: by this method you will gain a considerable point, which is, wholly
to waive the answer of my arguments. Never own the bottom of your
principles, for fear they should be treason. Fall severely on the
miscarriages of government; for if scandal be not allowed, you are no
freeborn subjects. If God has not blessed you with the talent of
rhyming, make use of my poor stock, and welcome: let your verses run
upon my feet; and for the utmost refuge of notorious blockheads, reduced
to the last extremity of sense, turn my own lines upon me, and, in utter
despair of your own satire, make me satirize myself. Some of you have
been driven to this bay already; but, above all the rest, commend me to
the nonconformist parson, who writ the "Whip and Key." I am afraid it is
not read so much as the piece deserves, because the bookseller is every
week crying help at the end of his Gazette, to get it off. You see I am
charitable enough to do him a kindness, that it may be published as well
as printed; and that so much skill in Hebrew derivations may not lie for
waste-paper in the shop. Yet I half suspect he went no further for his
learning, than the index of Hebrew names and etymologies, which is
printed at the end of some English Bibles. If Achitophel signifies the
brother of a fool, the author of that poem will pass with his readers
for the next of kin. And perhaps it is the relation that makes the
kindness. Whatever the verses are, buy them up, I beseech you, out of
pity; for I hear the conventicle is shut up, and the brother[79] of
Achitophel out of service.

Now, footmen, you know, have the generosity to make a purse for a member
of their society, who has had his livery pulled over his ears, and even
protestant socks are bought up among you, out of veneration to the name.
A dissenter in poetry from sense and English will make as good a
Protestant rhymer, as a dissenter from the Churc