*

MORE PROFITEERING.

"Beautiful champagne broche silk crepe de chine blouse; open neck; one
button; cost 2s. 6d.; accept 15s."--_The Lady_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: INEFFICIENCY IN THE NAVY.

_First Bluejacket_. "HULLO, MATE, I THOUGHT YOU WAS ASHORE WITH THE
CAPTAIN, PLAYING GOLF."

_Second Bluejacket_. "WELL, SO I WAS. IT'S LIKE THIS 'ERE. 'E GIVES ME
'IS STICKS TO CARRY, AND THEN TAKES ONE AND PUTS A LI'L WHITE BALL ON
TOP OF A BIT O' SAND AND, MY WORD! HE CATCHES THAT BALL A FAIR SWIPE.
MUST 'A' GONE MILES. THEN 'E TURNS TO ME AND SEZ, 'DID YER SEE WHERE
THAT WENT TO?' SO I SEZ, SMART LIKE, 'OUT O' SIGHT FROM THE MOMENT OF
HIMPACT, SIR,' AN' 'E SEZ, 'GO BACK ON BOARD, YE BLINKIN' FATHEAD!'"]

* * * * *

CONVERSIONS.

There was an exuberant flapper
Who made people anxious to slap her;
She uttered loud squeals
And she smoked at all meals;
Now she's married an elderly sapper.

There was a mild don who was muddy
In mind and complexion by study;
Now he flies fast and far,
With a cross and a bar,
And his face and his language are ruddy.

* * * * *

"BRITISH FRONT REINFORCED.

"BY PERCIVAL PHILLIPS."

_Daily Paper_.

Intrepid fellows, our war correspondents. What a pity there are so few
of them!

* * * * *

"A long, keen dagger will be supplied to every American
infantryman going to France. This weapon will be fitted into
one of the fighting men's leggings when he goes into action,
so he will have something to fall back on should his bayonet
fail."--_Canadian Paper_.

If he's going to fall back on it, we hope the sharp end won't be at
the top.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Sub_. "I SAY, SERGEANT-MAJOR, DO YOU REALISE THAT
THAT CHAP WITH THE BARROW IS A MEMBER OF AN ARCHAEOLOGICAL SOCIETY?"
_The Sergeant-Major_. "WELL, SIR, 'E MAY BE WHAT YOU SAY. PERSONALLY
I'VE ALWAYS FOUND 'IM QUIET AND WELL-BE'AVED."]

* * * * *

THE CLYDE-BUILT CLIPPER.

[Many of the fast-sailing clippers which were making fine passages
in the Australian wool trade in the 'seventies and onwards were
laid up or turned into hulks before the War. Recently, however,
several have been re-fitted for sea and are once more doing good
service.]

A