sad and angry, but my uncle
always took a low view of human nature, his very tolerance which was
exceedingly great came from his hoping nothing of anybody. Before he had
given way my grandfather lifted up his arms and cried out "there she is,"
and fell backward dead. Before he was dead, old servants of that house
where there had never been noise or disorder began their small pilferings,
and after his death there was a quarrel over the disposition of certain
mantle-piece ornaments of no value.

XXXIII

For some months now I have lived with my own youth and childhood, not
always writing indeed but thinking of it almost every day, and I am
sorrowful and disturbed. It is not that I have accomplished too few of my
plans, for I am not ambitious; but when I think of all the books I have
read, and of the wise words I have heard spoken, and of the anxiety I have
given to parents and grandparents, and of the hopes that I have had, all
life weighed in the scales of my own life seems to me a preparation for
something that never happens.

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