ansaction; but
know it they shall.'

"'Out with it, Sparks; tell it by all means!' cried a number of voices; for
it was clear to every one, by this time, that he was involved in a hoax.

"Amidst, therefore, a confused volley of entreaty on one side, and my
reiterated prayers for his silence, on the other, Sparks thus began:--

"'Are you aware, gentlemen, why Dr. Quill left the Fifty-sixth?'

"'No, no, no!' rang from all sides; 'let's have it!'

"'No, sir,' said he, turning towards me, 'concealment is impossible; an
officer detected with the mess-plate in his pocket--'

"They never let him finish, for a roar of laughter shook the table from one
end to the other; while Sparks, horror-struck at the lack of feeling and
propriety that could make men treat such a matter with ridicule, glared
around him on every side.

"'Oh, Maurice, Maurice!' cried the major, wiping his eyes, 'this is too
bad; this is too bad!'

"'Gracious Heaven!' screamed Sparks, 'can you laugh at it?'

"'Laugh at it!' re-echoed the paymaster, 'God grant I only don't burst a
blood-vessel!' And once more the sounds of merriment rang out anew, and
lasted for several minutes.

"'Oh, Maurice Quill,' cried an old captain, 'you've been too heavy on the
lad. Why, Sparks, man, he's been humbugging you.'

"Scarcely were the words spoken when he sprang from the room. The whole
truth flashed at once upon his mind; in an instant he saw that he had
exposed himself to the merciless ridicule of a mess-table and that all
peace for him, in that regiment at least, was over.

"We got a glorious fellow in exchange for him; and Sparks descended into
a cavalry regiment,--I ask your pardon, Charley,--where, as you are well
aware, sharp wit and quick intellect are by no means indispensable. There
now, don't be angry or you'll do yourself harm. So good-by, for an hour or
two."

CHAPTER XXXIII.

THE COUNT'S LETTER.

O'Shaughnessy's wound, like my own, was happily only formidable from the
loss of blood. The sabre or the lance are rarely, indeed, so death-dealing
as the musket or the bayonet; and the murderous fire from a square of
infantry is far more terrific in its consequences than the heaviest charge
of a cavalry column. In a few weeks, therefore, we were once more about and
fit for duty; but for the present the campaign was ended. The rainy season
with its attendant train of sickness and sorrow set in. The troops were
cantoned along the line of the fron