esteem. Perhaps you will help me. No one else
can. I am a prisoner: I am compelled to continue this imposture. Oh, I
shun speaking much: you object to it and I dislike it: but I must
endeavour to explain to you that I am unworthy of the position you
think a proud one."
"Tut-tut; we are all unworthy, cross our arms, bow our heads; and
accept the honours. Are you playing humble handmaid? What an old
organ-tune that is! Well? Give me reasons."
"I do not wish to marry."
"He's the great match of the county!"
"I cannot marry him."
"Why, you are at the church door with him! Cannot marry him?"
"It does not bind me."
"The church door is as binding as the altar to an honourable girl.
What have you been about? Since I am in for confidences, half ones
won't do. We must have honourable young women as well as men of honour.
You can't imagine he is to be thrown over now, at this hour? What have
you against him? come!"
"I have found that I do not . . ."
"What?"
"Love him."
Mrs. Mountstuart grimaced transiently. "That is no answer. The cause!"
she said. "What has he done?"
"Nothing."
"And when did you discover this nothing?"
"By degrees: unknown to myself; suddenly."
"Suddenly and by degrees? I suppose it's useless to ask for a head. But
if all this is true, you ought not to be here."
"I wish to go; I am unable."
"Have you had a scene together?"
"I have expressed my wish."
"In roundabout?--girl's English?"
"Quite clearly; oh, very clearly."
"Have you spoken to your father?"
"I have."
"And what does Dr. Middleton say?"
"It is incredible to him."
"To me too! I can understand little differences, little whims,
caprices: we don't settle into harness for a tap on the shoulder as a
man becomes a knight: but to break and bounce away from an unhappy
gentleman at the church door is either madness or it's one of the
things without a name. You think you are quite sure of yourself?"
"I am so sure, that I look back with regret on the time when I was
not."
"But you were in love with him."
"I was mistaken."
"No love?"
"I have none to give."
"Dear me!--Yes, yes, but that tone of sorrowful conviction is often a
trick, it's not new: and I know that assumption of plain sense to pass
off a monstrosity." Mrs. Mountstuart struck her lap. "Soh! but I've
had to rack my brain for it: feminine disgust? You have been hearing
imputations of his past life? moral character? No? Circumstances
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