ooked back she could philosophise, or she could
look into the future and plan for her child. But the father saw nothing
beyond his own sin. Weeks afterwards, in the midst of other occupations,
he would suddenly cry out, "Brute--you brute, I couldn't have--" and be
rent into two people who held dialogues. Or brown rain would descend,
blotting out faces and the sky. Even Jacky noticed the change in him.
Most terrible were his sufferings when he awoke from sleep. Sometimes
he was happy at first, but grew conscious of a burden hanging to him
and weighing down his thoughts when they would move. Or little irons
scorched his body. Or a sword stabbed him. He would sit at the edge of
his bed, holding his heart and moaning, "Oh what SHALL I do, whatever
SHALL I do?" Nothing brought ease. He could put distance between him and
the trespass, but it grew in his soul.

Remorse is not among the eternal verities. The Greeks were right to
dethrone her. Her action is too capricious, as though the Erinyes
selected for punishment only certain men and certain sins. And of all
means to regeneration Remorse is surely the most wasteful. It cuts away
healthy tissues with the poisoned. It is a knife that probes far deeper
than the evil. Leonard was driven straight through its torments and
emerged pure, but enfeebled--a better man, who would never lose control
of himself again, but also a smaller man, who had less to control. Nor
did purity mean peace. The use of the knife can become a habit as hard
to shake off as passion itself, and Leonard continued to start with a
cry out of dreams.

He built up a situation that was far enough from the truth. It never
occurred to him that Helen was to blame. He forgot the intensity of
their talk, the charm that had been lent him by sincerity, the magic
of Oniton under darkness and of the whispering river. Helen loved the
absolute. Leonard had been ruined absolutely, and had appeared to her
as a man apart, isolated from the world. A real man, who cared for
adventure and beauty, who desired to live decently and pay his way, who
could have travelled more gloriously through life than the juggernaut
car that was crushing him. Memories of Evie's wedding had warped
her, the starched servants, the yards of uneaten food, the rustle of
overdressed women, motor-cars oozing grease on the gravel, a pretentious
band. She had tasted the lees of this on her arrival; in the darkness,
after failure, they intoxicated her. She a