it, he smiled down at
me.

LATER: It is midnight. I cannot sleep. Perchanse he to is lieing awake.
I am sitting at the window in my ROBE DE NUIT. Below, mother and Sis
have just come in, and Smith has slamed the door of the car and gone
back to the GARAGE. How puney is the life my Familey leads! Nothing but
eating and playing, with no Higher Thoughts.

A man has just gone by. For a moment I thought I recognised the
footstep. But no, it was but the night watchman.

JANUARY 17TH. Father still away. No money, as mother absolutely refuses
on account of Maidie Mackenzie's gown, which she had to send away to be
repaired.

JANUARY 18TH. Father still away. The Hon. sent Sis a huge bunch of
orkids today. She refused me even one. She is always tight with flowers
and candy.

JANUARY 19TH. The paper says that Adrian's Play is going to close
the end of next week. No busness. How can I endure to know that he
is sufering, and that I cannot help, even to the extent of buying one
ticket? Matinee today, and no money. Father still away.

I have tried to do a kind Deed today, feeling that perhaps it would
soften mother's heart and she would advance my Allowence. I offered to
manacure her nails for her, but she refused, saying that as Hannah had
done it for many years, she guessed she could manage now.

JANUARY 20TH. Today I did a desparate thing, dear Dairy.

"The desparatest is the wisest course." Butler.

It is Sunday. I went to Church, and thought things over. What a
wonderfull thing it would be if I could save the play! Why should I feel
that my Sex is a handycap?

The recter preached on "The Opportunaties of Women." The Sermon gave
me courage to go on. When he said, "Women today step in where men are
afraid to tred, and bring success out of failure," I felt that it was
meant for me.

Had no money for the Plate, and mother atempted to smugle a half dollar
to me. I refused, however, as if I cannot give my own money to the
Heathen, I will give none. Mother turned pale, and the man with the
plate gave me a black look. What can he know of my reasons?

Beresford lunched with us, and as I discouraged him entirely, he was
very atentive to Sis. Mother is planing a big Wedding, and I found Sis
in the store room yesterday looking up mother's wedding veil.

No old stuff for me.

I guess Beresford is trying to forget that he kissed my hand the other
night, for he called me "Little Miss Barbara" today, meaning littl