in an unfair position; if she had deceived herself and
me, it was no more than was to have been looked for.

And, for another thing, she was now very much alone. Her father, when he
was by, was rather a caressing parent; but he was very easy led away by
his affairs and pleasures, neglected her without compunction or remark,
spent his nights in taverns when he had the money, which was more often
than I could at all account for; and even in the course of these few
days, failed once to come to a meal, which Catriona and I were at last
compelled to partake of without him. It was the evening meal, and I left
immediately that I had eaten, observing I supposed she would prefer to
be alone; to which she agreed, and (strange as it may seem) I quite
believed her. Indeed, I thought myself but an eyesore to the girl, and a
reminder of a moment's weakness that she now abhorred to think of. So
she must sit alone in that room where she and I had been so merry, and
in the blink of that chimney whose light had shone upon our many
difficult and tender moments. There she must sit alone, and think of
herself as of a maid who had most unmaidenly proffered her affections
and had the same rejected. And in the meanwhile I would be alone in some
other place, and reading myself (whenever I was tempted to be angry)
lessons upon human frailty and female delicacy. And altogether I suppose
there were never two poor fools made themselves more unhappy in a
greater misconception.

As for James, he paid not so much heed to us, or to anything in nature
but his pocket, and his belly, and his own prating talk. Before twelve
hours were gone he had raised a small loan of me; before thirty, he had
asked for a second, and been refused. Money and refusal he took with the
same kind of high good-nature. Indeed, he had an outside air of
magnanimity that was very well fitted to impose upon a daughter; and the
light in which he was constantly presented in his talk, and the man's
fine presence and great ways, went together pretty harmoniously. So that
a man that had no business with him, and either very little penetration
or a furious deal of prejudice, might almost have been taken in. To me,
after my first two interviews, he was as plain as print; I saw him to be
perfectly selfish, with a perfect innocency in the same; and I would
hearken to his swaggering talk (of arms, and "an old soldier," and "a
poor Highland gentleman," and "the strength of my country and my
f