be
a cuckold so he may wear his horns gilt; a fourth is haunted with a
jealousy of his visiting neighbours; another sobs and roars, and plays
the child, for the death of a friend or relation; and lest his own tears
should not rise high enough to express the torrent of his grief, he
hires other mourners to accompany the corpse to the grave, and sing its
_requiem_ in sighs and lamentations; another hypocritically weeps at the
funeral of one whose death at heart he rejoices for; here a gluttonous
cormorant, whatever he can scrape up, thrusts all into his guts to
pacify the cryings of a hungry stomach; there a lazy wretch sits yawning
and stretching, and thinks nothing so desirable as sleep and idleness;
some are extremely industrious in other men's business, and sottishly
neglectful of their own; some think themselves rich because their credit
is great, though they can never pay, till they break, and compound for
their debts; one is so covetous that he lives poor to die rich; one for
a little uncertain gain will venture to cross the roughest seas, and
expose his life for the purchase of a livelihood; another will depend on
the plunders of war, rather than on the honest gains of peace; some will
close with and humour such warm old blades as have a good estate, and no
children of their own to bestow it upon; others practice the same art
of wheedling upon good old women, that have hoarded and coffered up more
bags than they know how to dispose of; both of these sly flatteries make
fine sport for the gods, when they are beat at their own weapons, and
(as oft happens) are gulled by those very persons they intended to make
a prey of.

There is another sort of base scoundrels in gentility, such scraping
merchants, who although, for the better vent of their commodities they
lie, swear, cheat, and practice all the intrigues of dishonesty, yet
think themselves no way inferior to persons of the highest quality, only
because they have raked together a plentiful estate; and there are not
wanting such insinuating hangers on, as shall caress and compliment
them with the greatest respect, in hopes to go snacks in some of their
dishonest gains; there are others so infected with the philosophical
paradox of banishing property, and having all things in common, that
they make no conscience of fastening on, and purloining whatever they
can get, and converting it to their own use and possession; there are
some who are rich only in wishes, and