day. 'Now, boys, says he, 'I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll
make you an offer; a fair and square offer. What money I've got I'll
divide even with you, each of us takin' a third, and I'll try to make up
what I lose out of my next contract. Now nothin' could be no squarer
than that.'--'How much money have you got, Jerry?' says I, 'that's the
first thing to know.'--'I've got thirty-one hundred dollars even,' says
he, 'and that will be one thousand and thirty-three dollars and
thirty-three cents apiece. I've got bills to pay to-morrow for lumber
and bricks, and my third will pay 'em. If I don't I'll go to pieces. You
don't want to see me break up business, do you?'--'Now, Jerry,' says I,
'that won't do. You haven't got enough to divide into three parts. Putty
and me agree to go halves with what we get out of you, and when I lay
out a piece of business I don't make no changes. Half of that money is
for me, and half is for Putty. So just hand it out, and don't let's have
no more jabberin'.'

"Jerry he looked at me pretty hard, and then says he: 'You're about the
close-fisted and meanest man I ever met with. Here I offer you a third
part of my money, and all you've got to do is to take it and go away
peaceable. I'd be willin' to bet two to one that it's more than you
expected to get, and yet you are not satisfied; now, I'll be hanged if
I'm going to do business with you.'--'You can be hanged if you like,'
says I, 'but you'll do the business all the same.'--'No, I won't,' says
he, and he turns to Putty Henderson. 'Now, Putty,' says he, 'you've got
a pile more sense that this pal of yourn, and I'm goin' to see if I
can't do business with you. Now, you and me together can lick this Tommy
Randall just as easy as not, and if you'll help me do it I'll not only
divide the money with you, but I'll give you fifty dollars extra, so
that instead of fifteen hundred and fifty dollars--that's all he'd given
you, if he didn't cheat you--you'll have sixteen hundred, and I'll have
fifteen hundred instead of the thousand and thirty-three dollars which I
would have had left if my first offer had been took. So, Putty, what do
you say to that?' Now, Putty, he must have been a little sore with me on
account of the arguments we'd had about dividin', and he was mighty glad
besides to get the chance of makin' fifty dollars extry, and so he said
it was all right, and he'd agree. Then I thought it was about time for
me to take in some of my sail, and sa