ave brought more suffering upon
myself. She wanted him for herself, and could not forgive me for taking
him away; but if she had come to me at the beginning, when she saw how
things might go, I should have gone away myself and left the coast
clear. Even if it hurt myself, I should have been loyal to another
woman who had _cared first_! Even now I have done my best for her. I
offered, through my lawyers, to make no objection if he chose to free
himself legally. It _could_ be done in America, you know. I explained
that it would make no difference to the settlement. That was made, and
should remain unchanged!"
I looked at her sharply, for the sneer in her voice hurt me more than
the pain.
"Charmion! Forgive me, dearest. You have been cruelly treated, but--
don't be vexed--aren't you in the wrong, too, in feeling so bitter after
all these years?"
To my surprise she assented instantly.
"Oh, yes; very wrong. More wrong than they, perhaps, for I have had so
long to think; and what they did was done on an impulse. Don't think I
excuse myself, Evelyn. I don't! I see quite well how hard and bitter I
am, but--"
"You can't forgive?"
She hesitated, her grey eyes gazing into space.
"What exactly _is_ forgiveness? If by lifting a little finger I could
make him suffer as he has made me, nothing would induce me to do it. If
by lifting a little finger I could bring him happiness and success, I
think--no, I am _sure_ that I would not hesitate. But to purge my heart
of bitterness, that is beyond me! It's always there, deep down, a hard,
hard wall, hiding the light, shutting me out from man--and from God!"
The last words came in a whisper. I knew the effort with which they
were spoken, and sat silent, clinging to her hand. What could I say?
I, with my easy, sunshiny life; how dared I dictate to her great grief.
And yet I knew--I knew only in one way could peace come back.
The remembrance of the Vicar's first sermon came back to my heart like a
breath of fresh air.
"Forgetting the things that are behind!" I said softly. "Couldn't you
try that, Charmion? Forgetting, and--pressing forward! If forgiving
seems beyond you for the moment, couldn't you take the first step?"
For the first time since she entered the room her face lightened into
something like her own natural smile.
"Ah, Evelyn, that's like you! Thank you, dear, for the reminder. That
was the text on our first Sunday here. There is
|