al _praises the appearance of the men and explains how Visual
Training was taught before the Crimean War. The_ Adjutant _suddenly
recognises_ Private Hogg _and develops a nasty cough._

_The General (to C.O. as they move away)._ But do you think, Colonel,
that either of those smart young officers of yours would keep their
heads in a sudden emergency?

_The_ Adjutant _restrains a natural desire to wink at the_
Sergeant-Major.

Curtain.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Tommy_ (_home on leave_). "Come on, Miss, hurry up with
the lift! I've only got five days."]

* * * * *

NURSERY RHYMES OF LONDON TOWN.

I.--KINGSWAY.

Walking on the King's Way, lady, my lady,
Walking on the King's Way, will you go in red?
With a silken wimple, and a ruby on your finger,
And a furry mantle trailing where you tread?
Neither red nor ruby I'll wear upon the King's Way;
I will go in duffle grey with nothing on my head.

Walking on the King's Way, lady, my lady,
Walking on the King's Way, will you go in blue?
With an ermine border, and a plume of peacock feathers,
And a silver circlet, and a sapphire on your shoe?
Neither blue nor sapphire I'll wear upon the King's Way;
I will go in duffle grey, and barefoot too.

Walking on the King's Way, lady, my lady,
Walking on the King's Way, will you go in green?
With a golden girdle, and a pointed velvet slipper,
And a crown of emeralds fit for a queen?
Neither green nor emerald I'll wear upon the King's Way;
I will go in duffle grey so lovely to be seen,
And Somebody will kiss me and call me his queen.

* * * * *

"The depression in northern India has continued to travel
eastwards and is to-day affecting north-east India.

Forecast: Some rain in the submarine districts of north-east
India."

_Amrita Bazar Patrika._

It's a wet life anyhow, and submarines were made to be depressed.

* * * * *

ARMLETS AND THE MAN.

[Illustration: Mr Punch (_to attested married man_). "SO YOUR COUNTRY
CALLS ON YOU SOONER THAN YOU THOUGHT. I CONGRATULATE YOU."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Tuesday, March 14th._--Ministers as they passed through Palace Yard on
their way to the House shuddered as they observed a long, black,
wicked-looking motor-car, shaped like a torpedo. In th