aper, and more durable than can be
imported.

_Also,_

Turned Work in Ivory, hard Woods, and Metals, executed in the
best stile of workmanship.

--> _Cash given for_ Ivory, Sea-horse, _and_ Sea-cows TEETH.
(8w) March 14 [1798].

* * * * *

The following--supposed to be--attempt at wit appeared in the
"Massachusetts Centinel" in 1789.

_ADVERTISEMENTS EXTRA._

IMPORTED in the last vessels from Europe, A treatise on
ogling, simpering, flirting, gigling, painting, patching,
perfuming, &c. very useful to every _Lady_--and much in
demand. Also, The Art of burning dimples in ladies' cheeks and
chins--of repairing female tongues that wear with using--of
setting eyes _fashionably_ in their sockets--of giving the
face a _beautiful pale_, deathlike aspect--and of acquiring
the elegant hysterick and other fits.

_TO BE SOLD_--Many elegant and beautiful copies of a most
scarce and valuable work, called "_The Virtue of the Times_."
Inquire any where.

_LOST_--Through carelessness, _thirty good years of life_--of
a gentleman--ALSO, _forty-two years of a lady_--the latter,
from a desire to appear _beautifully_ slim. Whoever can inform
the losers how they can be redeemed, shall be handsomely
rewarded.

_EXTRA--BUT SERIOUS._

WANTED--much _wanted_--several _small sums of money_--say,
from 4/6. to Ten Dollars--for which _obligations_, which have
frequently been _offered_, will be _given_. Inquire of the
_Printer_.

* * * * *

A Boston paper of 1789 prints the following unique production, copied from
a late London paper. It was probably designed as a "take-off" to some of
the humbugs of the day.

THOMAS TOUCHWOOD, GENT.,

Proposes, on the last day of the present month, to shoot
himself by subscription. His life being of no farther use to
himself or his friends, he takes this method of endeavouring
to turn his death to some account; and the novelty of the
performance, he hopes, will merit the attention and patronage
of the publick.

He will perform with two pistols, the first shot to be
directed through his _abdomen_, to which will be added another
through his brain, the whole to conclu