e I could say a word. But good
land! I didn't care. I knew I could say what I wanted to with my
faithful pen--and I am bound to say it.

JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE,
Bonny View,
near Adams, New York,
Oct. 14th, 1890.

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.

CHAPTER II.

CHAPTER III.

CHAPTER IV.

CHAPTER V.

CHAPTER VI.

CHAPTER VII.

CHAPTER VIII.

CHAPTER IX.

CHAPTER X.

CHAPTER XI.

CHAPTER XII.

CHAPTER XIII.

CHAPTER XIV.

CHAPTER XV.

CHAPTER XVI

CHAPTER XVII

CHAPTER XVIII

CHAPTER XIX

CHAPTER XX

CHAPTER XXI

CHAPTER XXII

CHAPTER XXIII

CHAPTER XXIV

CHAPTER XXV

CHAPTER XXVI

CHAPTER XXVII

CHAPTER XXVIII

_Publishers' Appendix_

CHAPTER I.

When I first heard that wimmen wuz goin' to make a effort to set on a
Conference, it wuz on a Wednesday, as I remember well. For my companion,
Josiah Allen, had drove over to Loontown in a Democrat and in a great
hurry, to meet two men who wanted him to go into a speculation with 'em.

And it wuz kinder curious to meditate on it, that they wuz all deacons,
every one on 'em. Three on 'em wuz Baptis'es, and two on 'em had jined
our meetin' house, deacons, and the old name clung to 'em--we spoze
because they wuz such good, stiddy men, and looked up to.

Take 'em all together there wuz five deacons. The two foreign deacons
from 'way beyond Jonesville, Deacon Keeler and Deacon Huffer, and
our own three Jonesvillians--Deacon Henzy, Deacon Sypher, and my own
particular Deacon, Josiah Allen.

It wuz a wild and hazardous skeme that them two foreign deacons wuz
a-proposin', and I wuz strongly in favor of givin' 'em a negative
answer; but Josiah wuz fairly crazy with the idee, and so wuz Deacon
Henzy and Deacon Sypher (their wives told me how they felt).

The idee was to build a buzz saw mill on the creek that runs through
Jonesville, and have branches of it extend into Zoar, Loontown, and
other more adjacent townships (the same creek runs through 'em all).

As near as I could get it into my head, there wuz to be a buzz saw mill
apiece for the five deacons--each one of 'em to overlook their own
particular buzz saw--but the money comin' from all on 'em to be divided
up equal among the five deacons.

[Illustration: "A WILD AND HAZARDOUS SKEME."]

They thought there wuz lots of money in the idee. But I wuz very set
against it from the first. It seemed to me that to have buzz saws
a-permeatin' the atmosphere, as you may